It’s that time of week – time for Kpopalypse roundup! Let’s check out this week’s new releases!
The Legend
Blackpink – Stay
All that fucking hype and drama just for some shitty acoustic la-la harmonica bullshit song, fml.
Blackpink – Playing With Fire
This other song’s somewhat better but “Playing With Fire” is no “Fire“, that’s for damn sure, so let’s all calm down everyone.
Taeyeon – 11:11
Berry Good – Don’t Believe
I was all ready to shit on this when I heard the intro but then the beat started and it became decent. Not sure if I’m happy because I got a good song or sad because my fun at mud-slinging amother potential awful ballad was ruined.
Mamamoo – Décalcomanie
Wow, a Mamamoo song that isn’t a complete piece of dogshit like their last 27 since “Piano Man”. 2016 really is a year of surprises, first Sistar releasing something listenable and now this.
BTOB – I’ll Be Your Man
Basically a T-ara ballad but with more muscle-flexing and burnt-out cars.
B.A.P – Skydive
Now that B.A.P are back with their old label their agency is splurging on massively expensive videos in the hope that none of the money trickles down to the actual members. Someone in the boardroom is just going “fuck ’em”.
MC Mong ft. Eunji – Visual Gangster
If by “visual gangster” he means he’s committing crimes against my retinas with the painful fashions in this video, then no argument from me.
Block B Bastarz – It’s Yours
That surgery must be taking a long time to heal for the other members of Block B to be out of action for this long.
Hello Venus – Runway
Poor Hello Venus probably can’t afford an MV right now so here’s a fanmade one.
BONUS SONGS
Loco ft. Crush – Still
About as un-loco as a song can get.
Thomas Cook – Goodbye
Okay, seeya.
Lim Seul Ong & Joy – Always In My Heart
Shit song but very watchable bitchstare-packed video.
Jenyer – I Do
I don’t.
Hyolyn ft. Jay Park – One Step
One step closer to my imminent death from Shit Music Disease.
Seventeen – Healing
This has been out for a while, how did I miss it? Oh, by it not being any good, makes sense.
Mamamoo – Tears
Luckily Mamamoo also released this bucket of crap this week so we can feel normal again and not like we’re living in a parallel universe where they don’t generally suck.
Skull & Haha ft. M.Tyson – Buzzer Beater
Skull and Haha are trying to modernise their sound a bit which is appreciated but the biggest problem with any Skull & Haha release is always going to be Skull & Haha.
LiVii – Beautiful Creature
Rambling electronic mess.
Jay Park & Workmanship – Stay With Me
I was all getting ready to compliment him on using the mic correctly but then he twisted it around 180 degrees the wrong way at 2:08. “Live version” my ass.
Day Day ft. Hash Swan – Piggy Bank
This isn’t a beat, fuck off.
Young Jun – Moon Night
It’s a brown eye alright.
Seventeen SVT – Check In
The guy at 1:36 looks like he’s rapping inside a shower cubicle – that’s not hip-hop.
Kate – I Don’t Wanna Go
BigBang should do a version of this and it can be about draft dodging.
Ramda – If You
Well, this is boring.
Wax – You Are You Are You Are
You are not.
That’s all for this week’s roundup – more new songs next week!
KPOPALYPSE 
Can’t seem to decide whether Don’t Believe is the song I thought Black Pink could’ve done based on the image teasers alone, or the song SM has been trying to make with their View/4 Walls sound but can’t.
At first listen I thought Decalcamonie’s chorus was too poppy and kinda sounded like Ailee’s I’ll Show You’s chorus. Listening to the songs back to back made me like Mamamoo’s song more as a matter of fact.
Didn’t expect BtoB to make a song like that, mostly cuz they made 86 ballads in the past year. I would say Cube’s making them step up as Alpha Males with Beast running from their clutches, but even they haven’t had a comeback with balls for sometime.
It has been a good while since Park Kyung posted a photo of himself on SNS. Word has it he’s working on another solo project, probably doesn’t want to look older than the topical, young female idol he’ll have a duet with. (My money says it’ll be an IOI girl, or Produce 101 contestant at the least.)
Best Bonus Song Thoughts of 2016 by far, bravo sir.
I meant Ailee’s Don’t Touch Me, oops
Liking Berry good song and BAP MV
The most surgeried member of Block B, B-Bomb, is in Bastarz. I guess he doesn’t need any touch ups since they nearly always use him for extra work.
I’d say Kyung has had the most surgery at this point.
Excuse me Mr Kpopalypse oppar, could you please clarify your position on the Skydive song? 🙂
I swear people are losing their tits over some mediocre stuff from blackpink, playing with fire is alright but is nowhere as godly as everyone claims.
Also I feel like I’m the only one that find MC Mong’s song always at least decent. His song is never empty and usually has a good chorus, the intro of his latest song is great, though it kinda fell off especially during the pre-chorus.
I don’t know why, maybe his boring/terrible rap kinda makes everything else about the song stand out. Perhaps people can’t stand his rap enough to get through the chorus, the chorus ALWAYS carries the song.