It’s that time of week – time for Kpopalypse roundup! Let’s check out this week’s new releases!
Blackpink – Stay
All that fucking hype and drama just for some shitty acoustic la-la harmonica bullshit song, fml.
Blackpink – Playing With Fire
This other song’s somewhat better but “Playing With Fire” is no “Fire“, that’s for damn sure, so let’s all calm down everyone.
Taeyeon – 11:11
Berry Good – Don’t Believe
I was all ready to shit on this when I heard the intro but then the beat started and it became decent. Not sure if I’m happy because I got a good song or sad because my fun at mud-slinging amother potential awful ballad was ruined.
Mamamoo – Décalcomanie
Wow, a Mamamoo song that isn’t a complete piece of dogshit like their last 27 since “Piano Man”. 2016 really is a year of surprises, first Sistar releasing something listenable and now this.
BTOB – I’ll Be Your Man
Basically a T-ara ballad but with more muscle-flexing and burnt-out cars.
B.A.P – Skydive
Now that B.A.P are back with their old label their agency is splurging on massively expensive videos in the hope that none of the money trickles down to the actual members. Someone in the boardroom is just going “fuck ’em”.
MC Mong ft. Eunji – Visual Gangster
If by “visual gangster” he means he’s committing crimes against my retinas with the painful fashions in this video, then no argument from me.
Block B Bastarz – It’s Yours
That surgery must be taking a long time to heal for the other members of Block B to be out of action for this long.
Hello Venus – Runway
Poor Hello Venus probably can’t afford an MV right now so here’s a fanmade one.
Loco ft. Crush – Still
About as un-loco as a song can get.
Thomas Cook – Goodbye
Lim Seul Ong & Joy – Always In My Heart
Shit song but very watchable bitchstare-packed video.
Jenyer – I Do
Hyolyn ft. Jay Park – One Step
One step closer to my imminent death from Shit Music Disease.
Seventeen – Healing
This has been out for a while, how did I miss it? Oh, by it not being any good, makes sense.
Mamamoo – Tears
Luckily Mamamoo also released this bucket of crap this week so we can feel normal again and not like we’re living in a parallel universe where they don’t generally suck.
Skull & Haha ft. M.Tyson – Buzzer Beater
Skull and Haha are trying to modernise their sound a bit which is appreciated but the biggest problem with any Skull & Haha release is always going to be Skull & Haha.
LiVii – Beautiful Creature
Rambling electronic mess.
Jay Park & Workmanship – Stay With Me
I was all getting ready to compliment him on using the mic correctly but then he twisted it around 180 degrees the wrong way at 2:08. “Live version” my ass.
Day Day ft. Hash Swan – Piggy Bank
This isn’t a beat, fuck off.
Young Jun – Moon Night
It’s a brown eye alright.
Seventeen SVT – Check In
The guy at 1:36 looks like he’s rapping inside a shower cubicle – that’s not hip-hop.
Kate – I Don’t Wanna Go
BigBang should do a version of this and it can be about draft dodging.
Ramda – If You
Well, this is boring.
Wax – You Are You Are You Are
You are not.
That’s all for this week’s roundup – more new songs next week!