It’s that time of week again, time for another Kpopalypse roundup!  Let’s check out this week’s new releases!

Twice – TT

I write these roundups for two main reasons:

1. It replaces the links to videos that I used to put on my Facebook page after each show
2. It stops the tidal wave of boring, repetitive questions asking for my opinion of songs on my ask.fm

Back before I did roundup, when a video like the one above came out, I’d get (literally) dozens of questions about what I thought of the song, which was really boring and prevented me from getting to questions that I actually wanted to answer.  Now that barely happens at all, which is great, instead of anywhere up to 50 questions I now get maybe six at most for a really popular song like this.

Oh and this song doesn’t really grab me much so far but I’ll admit it’s the best Twice song yet.  And no “TT” isn’t about titties, it’s about people crying, this is actually JYP not being a creepy uncle fan for a change.  Believe it or not.

24K – Bingo

There’s a bit in this song somewhere near the end where it gets good for about 10 seconds.  EDIT: since I know you will ask me it’s at 3:26.

Matilda – Bad

The constant tempo and time signature changes are pretty ill-advised but this is still a better YG girl group song than any YG girl group song since about 2012.

A.DE – Good Time

The old-school k-pop approach is appreciated, it’s not the greatest song ever but at least it’s not some yolosweg thing and keeps the same beat all the way through, something that’s become a rarity these days.

Beatburger ft. BoA – Music Is Wonderful

Don’t get too excited, this sounds like everything else SM does now with their older idols.

Hwang Minwoo  – Okey Dokey

Trufax – this song is better than “Show Time“.  Mind you, so is every other song ever written since cavemen worked out how to stretch a deer skin across a coconut.

Bulldok – Why Not/How’s This

This unfortunately sounds like a generic boy-group song, however the girl with short hair who raps is probably the best-looking new entrant I’ve seen in k-pop all year.  Could just be the styling though, I don’t think she stood out at all to me in her old group Scarlet.

Roydo ft. KittiB – About You

Everyone’s talking about the editing being terrible and half of KittiB’s verse being left out, but that’s only for the video (probably because they ran out of shooting budget), radio listeners got to hear the full track.  Nobody’s talking about the real issue here which is that R&B/rap hybrids are cancer.

The Barberettes – Fairy Tale

I don’t understand why k-pop’s vocalfaggots don’t get into retread 1950s doo wop stuff like this and instead continue to fag about some fucking idol boy group.  Anyway the version played on the actual radio show sounds a lot better than this stripped-back version here.

BONUS SONGS

Almeng – Cheers To Me

Looks like Almeng has been taking motivational courses.  You can do it, Almeng, you can write a good song one day!

Kim Na Young – I See

I’m kind of wasting my time writing something here, aren’t I.  You know what I think of this.

Gemma – Dengniai

The creation of the CJE&M logo at the start sounds better than the song.

Silla – True Color

Lol porn.

Sweden Laundry – Foggy

If Korean ballads weren’t such a plague on k-pop I might actually find this listenable but I’ve been so oversaturated with stuff like this over the last few years that Sweden Laundry can fuck right off.

The Barberettes ft. Stuart Zender – Love Shoes

Of course this group have to fuck up their entire concept and reason for existing by collaborating with one of the lowest forms of human life – a Jamiroquai member.  You can tell that they are legit independent singers though because they hold their Shure 55s the right way.

Jay Park ft. Gray – Drive

Did you know that the auto industry peaked in 2004 in both the developed and developing world and has been on the downturn consistently with less cars being sold every year globally ever since?  That’s because when everybody owns a car, nobody can get anywhere.  The “freedom” of automotive travel is just an illusion as most people spend their car-time gridlocked and in most built-up areas it’s actually quicker to cycle during peak times.  Jay Park isn’t helping, and next time I’m stuck in a traffic jam I’m going to blame him for glamourising sitting in a car driving at 10 miles per hour like a boring fuck.

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That’s it for this week’s roundup – more next week!