Kpopalypse roundup – new k-pop releases 22/8/2016

It’s time for Kpopalypse roundup – let’s check out this week’s new releases!


I.O.I (well, most of them)

This week’s radio show was the 2016 Radiothon fundraising edition.  I didn’t play any new releases this week, instead I played tracks from the CDs that I gave away on-air to entice listeners to subscribe to the radio station.  A list of the tracks actually played is at the playlist post.  In the meantime, here’s all the new stuff!

EXO – Lotto

“Wah wah wah Autotune”, I thought any k-pop fan anywhere would be well and truly used to Autotune by now.  Don’t kid yourself – the song is the problem, not the effects on the vocals.

Yuri & Seohyun – Secret

The best iteration of the “4 walls” style monotonous electrofart sound yet but that doesn’t mean it’s actually good.

CL – Lifted

Please, nobody tell CL or her fans what “shorty” actually means.  It’s funnier if they don’t know.  Look at Method Man’s grin, he’s loving this and he’s not going to tell anyone either.

I.B.I – Molae Molae

Apink by numbers, basically.

Hyuna – Morning Glory

Remember folks: the photocards in 4Minute albums are so you can have a souvenir and feel extra-special thoughts for your favourite member!  You can keep them, sell them, or trade them with your friends!

Hanhae – Eyescream

I scream, you scream, we all scream for better songwriting in k-pop.

WJSN (Cosmic Girls) – Secret

Meh.  Sorry to all those who waited a week with baited breath to find out what I thought about this, that’s all I got.

Badkiz – Hothae

They didn’t pitch-correct or even synthesise the saxophone loops.  It really makes the sax stick out actually.

Tymee – Cinderella

And here’s exactly the same thing but more boring.  I get that she’s over the whole “pick-up-chu” thing but Tymee lowering her voice to suit her new “tough” persona or whatever just sounds fucking weird.

Romeo – Treasure

Their song’s a bit messy and all over the place, but I like their truck that folds out into a stage.

Agust D – Give It To Me

They’re not even trying to make proper beats anymore.

Agust D – Agust D

This one’s slightly better but damn the ancient art of beat creation is getting lost a little more every day, isn’t it.

J-Min – Ready For Your Love

Someone asked me to review this because I missed it last week, but sorry to disappoint because it’s so boring I have even less to say about it than the new WJSN song.

Bambino – Moonlight Shower

Hey that nutter who posts about Bambino on Anti Kpop-Fangirl constantly was right, this is the new revolution in k-pop sound and style that we’ve all been waiting for.  Okay, not really, but it’s actually not a steaming great pile of dogshit like “Oppa Oppa” was so it’s already in the top 10% for this week.

Nell – Dream Catcher

Oh look it’s Nell.  Hahahaha.

MASC – Strange

Just ordinary boy-band stuff.

Sleepy – So What

Oh shit, Sleepy’s seen “Windowlicker“.

Jisun – Heart 2 Heart

Speaking of Sleepy, here’s a boring Korean ballad exactly like every other boring Korean ballad ever.

Nu.D – Ballionaire

How did a Korean think up that song title first?  Anyway this is as bad as you think it is.

Jay Park & Kirin – City Breeze

Trust Jay Park to do an early 90s retro song and copy awful p-funk and new jack swing instead of the stuff from back then that was actually good.  Proof that he’s musical cancer.

Lady Jane – Just 2 Days

A cool Europop style chorus saves this one from Rhodes shitball land.

That’s it for roundup this week – more next week!

5 thoughts on “Kpopalypse roundup – new k-pop releases 22/8/2016

  1. Wah Y they used autotune. EXO best singers. Wah i want to hear EXO’ real voice in this yoloswag song.

    Sorry CL, you just made “Hello B*itches” a decent song and “The Baddest Female” a masterpiece.

    WJSN’s “Secret” is musically better than “Catch Me” but the latter is much more interesting as a bad song.

    If you fix the mess in “Treasure”, it can outfunk most other attempts at similar songs, but EXO’s Lucky One” is still better.

    For Suga’s songs, allow me to quote from last year’s thought on similar song:
    “It’s well known that rap music has largely lost the art of beat-making these days. Rap Monster has seemingly conceded defeat and not even included a beat at all. I suppose we should be grateful for his humility. Think how much worse this could have been.”

  2. I never really got Crayon Pop, Ellin is like a discount Hyomin, Gummis teets seem way above decent, At first I thought Soyul was some kind of Tzyuyu deal where we don’t really talk about it but it turns out she’s old as fuck so I guess I can fap to that? But then the twins will fuck ur shit up so idk. The fact that they sing “You are a sicko” in the FM chorus doesnt help.

  3. Oh please, Oppa oppa was the jam of 2015. Nothing can compare. But moonlight shower is visually more pleasing than 90% of kpop so that’s good.

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