It’s time for another Kpopalypse roundup! Let’s take a look at this week’s new releases!
This week’s roundup actually doesn’t have anything to do with the radio show itself, which was guest-programmed (see the playlist post for the tracks played), but I know that you guys still want a roundup so here’s the new releases anyway.
Blackpink – Whistle
Weirdly sparse yet annoyingly busy at the same time, the decent melodic bridge section doesn’t make up for all the other awful shit going on everywhere else.
Blackpink – Boombayah
Blackpink’s other debut song is better but it still sounds like something that wouldn’t have made the cut for a 2NE1 album.
VIXX – Fantasy
The thing about sampling classical music is that it’s all in the public domain so there’s no royalties to pay. A pity there wasn’t more of that kind of subtlety throughout, this song has one of the most sonically crowded choruses in k-pop.
I.O.I – Whatta Man (Good Man)
This isn’t quite a remake of Salt N Pepa’s “Whatta Man“, although even if it was that probably wouldn’t have saved it because that song’s crap too. The good Salt N Pepa was the iconic “Push It” era, not the pissweak hip-hop/R&B lite they did a decade later.
Stellar – Love Spell
Nondescript but pleasant enough, the real joy of this is watching Stellar wearing all that pure white clothing and pretending that they don’t know you’re fapping.
Jun. K – Think About You
It’s certainly JunK alright.
BeatBurger – Vagabond
Everyone acts like only YG can do trendy bullshit but weak crappy music is for everybody.
Onew & Lee Jin Ah – Starry Night
After SNSD’s shitty song last week SM Station have clearly just given up.
Henry & GenNeo – 1030
Korea’s Rick Astley returns with his “Cry For Help“. Oh dear.
24K – Still 24K
Average song, but what an insane video. Any MV featuring this kind of set design and gunplay is costing a ton of money so I hope these guys are making some decent returns for their own sake.
Lundi Blues – Long Beach
This week’s Fender Rhodes shitball is just as bad as any other.
Very Very Good Life – Dance
An unusually listenable stab at the kind of dreamy guitar-pop Korean bands usually execute with terrifying blandness. It even has Fender Rhodes and doesn’t suck, it’s some kind of magic trick I swear.
Chi Young Tae – Scope
Like this, for example. What fucking shit, someone grab that guitar off him and bash him with it until he fucks off.
Aquibird – Lookalike
Babies are fucking disgusting ugly resource-sponges that drain your time and energy and give nothing back, and so is this song.
A-Daily – Chu
A rocking upbeat tune that we don’t get enough of in k-pop these days, here’s hoping these Nugu Alert friendly girls get to do at least one more song before the axe inevitably falls on their careers.
IMGL – Hey You
Anyone with a 6-string bass is just bitter that they’re not the guitarist. Face facts – you’re a bass player and nobody wants to hear you doing scales in the middle of the song, dickhead.
IMGL – My World
More annoyingly present bass playing. You’re not special, stop that.
Right Life – The Way You See
See that kid staring through the bars? That’s how you’ll also feel about a minute into this.
Jaeney – Tell Me Why
Check out the amazing muscle-tone on this woman, I guess this only got released because people saw those pecs and were afraid to tell her that her song sucked.
Luizy ft. Hyun Sik – Baby Ride
You could play a drinking game with this song where you try to find objects that weren’t rented.
That’s it for this week’s Kpopalypse roundup! More next week!