The Kpopalypse Fandom Insanity Scale

With the emergence of YG’s new girl group Blackpink who in true YG fashion have debuted a cool, casual 32 months behind schedule, curious caonimas now wish to know what I think of their fandom.


However, I wasn’t sure that answering this question was a good idea.  Kpopalypse blog has always been about teaching k-pop fans to think for themselves rather just go along what what’s trendy or accept what some dickhead on the Internet spoonfeeds them, even if that dickhead is me.  So rather than just answer these questions simply, I thought – why not give readers the tools to determine by themselves exactly how insane any given k-pop fandom is?  Enter the Kpopalypse Fandom Insanity Scale!

Step 1: I’ve devised a series of sixteen questions, that will determine exactly how insane your fandom of choice is!  Please do your best to answer them honestly and candidly!


Does your fandom have a colour?

  • A – Yes
  • B – Yes, and other groups should try to pick a different colour
  • C – Yes and other groups should try to pick a different colour or we will send toilet paper


Does your fandom have a special lightstick?


What does your fandom chant sound like?


What is your fandom name?



How does your fandom behave at fanmeets?

  • A – polite and respectful
  • B – slavering and Zerglike
  • C – attention-whoring nutcases with daddy issues


How does your fandom feel about other k-pop fandoms?

  • A – we love them because we’re united by k-pop
  • B – we’re obviously better than them but it’s okay, we stay out of each others’ way


What is your fandom’s opinion about their chosen idol’s songs?

  • A – the good stuff is great but there’s also some meh songs that I don’t care for
  • B – I like everything my idol does
  • C – clearly my idol’s songs are superior to all others and if you don’t care about them all you are objectively wrong


What is your fandom’s general opinion about their chosen idol’s vocals?

  • A – honestly I couldn’t pick my idol in a blind listening test, and besides, don’t they all use Autotune anyway?
  • B – my faves are obviously the most vocally talented
  • C – I’m going to start my own vocal pedagogy ranking/thread/forum/website/shrine to prove to you all that MY bias is best (no links provided because let’s not encourage this cancer)




How does your fandom feel about their idols’ agency?

  • A – who cares what company they’re with, I just hope the idols get to make money and have a sleep-in occasionally
  • B – my idols are with the BEST agency and if you don’t like them you are a dirty hater
  • C – I love my idols but their agency needs to listen to the fans more because us fans know more about how to run an agency than managers who have years of experience in artist management and nuanced knowledge of the inside business world that is completely hidden to us, WHY WON’T THEY LISTEN TO US


How does your fandom’s community leaders behave on the Internet?

  • A – pleasant and nice
  • B – psychotic and controlling – to their community
  • C – psychotic and controlling – to their idols


Your idol is seen with another idol of the opposite gender, could there be dating happening?

  • A – who the fuck cares
  • B – I’m sure something is going on but it’s not like I can stop it
  • C – I’m sure something is going on and it’s not like I can stop it but GODDAMN I WILL TRY MY HARDEST FOR OPPA


How does your fandom respond to news of their idol dating?

  • A – I’m happy for them
  • B – I guess I’m a little heartbroken but tomorrow is another day
  • C – I’m going to translate eight different sets of article comments about this breaking non-news so all the English speaking fans can see how that slut should have stayed away from oppa



How does your fandom respond to news of inter-group tensions?

  • A – slight disappointment but hey, shit happens
  • B – denial followed by deep depression
  • C – pick a side in the dispute and throw stones at the other side, despite having no insider knowledge of what really happened


Your idol is caught in a drug scandal!  How does your fandom respond?

  • A – oh well, it’s the music business *shrugs*
  • B – my idol seemed so pure, I’m devastated
  • C – drugs are harmless and besides he never did it before it was just this one time the press release said so and you can trust those


Your idol is caught emulating the men in Gain’s music videos – in real life!  How does your fandom respond?

  • A – Gosh that’s a bit messed up, I hope he didn’t do it
  • B – I really believe he’s innocent, after all the court let him off and courts in Korea aren’t sexist or culturally biased in any way


Mysterious bruises start appearing on your idol’s significant other!  What could be the most likely explanation?

  • A – obviously, he beats the crap out of her
  • B – they just train dance together really hard
  • C – those bruises are clearly makeup, she’s after his moneyz!



Step 2: Count up all the answers that you gave, using the following system:

  • for each answer A – allocate 1 point to your fandom
  • for each answer B – allocate 2 points to your fandom
  • for each answer C – allocate 3 points to your fandom

Step 3: Use the following guide to find out how batshit crazy your fandom is!

16 points

You’re such a sad, desperate psychotic fan that you’re willing to lie about your fandom’s virtues on a stupid Kpopalypse test just to feel better about yourself.  Please answer the questions again, this time honestly.

17-20 points

Congratulations, your fandom is probably reasonably normal.  If I were the supreme dictator of the planet, I may consider allowing your fandom to exist on some kind of limited basis with strict curfews.

21-25 points

Your fandom is potentially wasting oxygen that others could breathe.  Consider leaving this group of crazies before you get sucked as deep down the rabbit-hole as they are.

26-30 points

How do you sleep at night, knowing that your fandom is this insane?  Only with a body pillow of your idol, obviously.  Seek professional medical attention.

31-35 points

Humanity didn’t crawl out of the caves just for you to be part of a contingent of dickheads like this.  How must your parents feel?  You haven’t stabbed them in a ritual sacrifice to oppa, have you?

36-40 points

How are you still even reading this far?  Don’t you have people to stalk?

41-48 points

There is no hope for you, your fandom or humanity in general.  It doesn’t matter what any of us say or do because we are all doomed.  Might as well vote Trump 2016, fuck it.

Now you know exactly how crazy your fandom is!  Sweet dreams and stay safe until next post!


10 thoughts on “The Kpopalypse Fandom Insanity Scale

  1. I think BBCs are mostly B’s in this survey. I was feeling too lazy to add up the numbers. They did do some serious prehistoric screaming at both concerts here in the states, but the Korean fans just politely chant the members’ names, so hard to say. Come to think of it, I have found iBBCs to be ridiculously controlling of comments on twitter. But I thought that was just them being bratty kids.

  2. Oy vey. This reminded me why I’m not an ARMY anymore. I remember legitimately thinking I was sane just because I wasn’t that keen on some of their songs. (Spoiler alert: I was not sane. At all.)

  3. And with this, I’m off to show everyone how we rainous must be one of the best fandom ! Thanks~

    (there might be rumors of korean fans hating on the international fandom, being unsupportive of their projects which are not 100% korean-focused, even making sure the girls don’t get too many fans so that they (the fans) will feel special and close to them (the girls) though)

  4. Sane people skew toward A, crazy people skew toward C. If the two balance out, the whole fandom averages to B. Unfortunately, I think the craziness of the insane ones tends to outweigh the sanity of the reasonable ones, which lands them closer to C. Hence why I don’t like any fandom.

    • I think crazies tend to be far more visible than sanies (?) so they seem to outweigh them – when was the last time you saw a news/gossip article about a SANE fan? Would anyone actually read “You will not believe the SANITY of these fans! Look at them politely waving at the idols and NOT reaching out to them or trying to trip them!”? Meanwhile, everyone loves to hear about crazy fan-fueled drama, so crazies are far more likely to be famous/infamous. #TeamSchadenfreude

      But I agree – I don’t like any fandom either, and there are enough crazies that I mainly get kpop news from AJ and my friends.

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