Kpopalypse roundup – new k-pop releases 13/6/2016

Your best friend, Kpopalypse roundup is back!  Let’s look at some new releases!

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EXO – Monster

This is pretty much “Overdose” part 2, and reasonably okay, although it could use a little speeding up.

EXO – Lucky One

I’m the only person I can find who thinks that this song and “Monster” are roughly equal quality.  “Lucky One” drags a bit but it also has better instrumentation, if all funk in k-pop had this much balls I wouldn’t rag on it so much.

Taeyeon – Atlantis Princess

In this first-person video you’re running along with Taeyeon to some mystery destination but you never quite get there, instead you’re stuck among the wilderness forever.  Which is pretty much how I feel about this song.

U-Kiss – Stalker

Now that SHINee have gone the f(x) generic dancey boredom route, U-Kiss are muscling in on their old turf and actually doing a pretty good job.  Whoever wrote that verse melody should be slapped with a music theory book though.

Lee Jin Ah – I’m Full

I’m tired of this “organic” trend in k-pop but this is still marginally better than the last seven or eight Mamamoo songs.

SS310 – Ah-ha

Once again the vocal melodies are the problem with this OH&S compliant rocker, everything else is great, I’m especially digging the 80s EBM sound it starts with (not a typo).

Guckkasten – Pulse

Hey Guckkasten are pretty good.  Of course he has to insert some vocal showponying into it to appeal to the k-pop vocalfag crowd, but hey it actually fits here, and in any event I can take the good with the bad.

Tiffany & Simon Dominic – Heartbreak Hotel

Damn, it looks like Simon Dominic was her best friend after all.

BONUS SONGS

Boys 24 – Rising Star

If someone tells you “those k-pop boy groups all look the same”, show them this and tell them that you really like the one in the middle.

The Idolmaster A Team – Dream

Generic dancey k-pop early Apink clone song TV show bullshit clearing house entry.

The Idolmaster B Team – One For All

Generic dancey k-pop early SNSD clone song TV show bullshit clearing house entry.

Sleeq – Liquor

It’s like listening to Eminem, she might be skilled but it’s just fucking irritating like a fly buzzing around your ear.

Drug Restaurant – Mistake

That bass player is doing some serious headbanging for a song that doesn’t really go all that hard.  Who is the bitchy girl in the video though, she meets required standards.

Jinwoon ft. Tiger JK – Will

This song has great sounds but they just decided to make a really boring song with them.

J-Star, Jungah – Spring Summer

Jungah is 33 and if you look at her face you can really see the scars of the industry.  I swear there’s two gigantic channels on her face where the tears must’ve been flowing every night while Kahi screamed at her Full Metal Jacket style.

D.Zyne ft. Kangnam – Simply In Love

Here’s your weekly Fender Rhodes shitball that didn’t meet required standards for airplay.  Enjoy.

Ben – Like A Dream

And here’s your token generic slow ballad of +4 boredom inducing.

Urban Zakapa – I Don’t Love You

Urban Zakapa are utter shit, no redeeming features at all.  Everyone wanks themselves to death over this band but really, the music they make is cancer.  Maybe Skrillex can write them a song so they can disband afterward, seems to have worked for 4Minute.

Youngji – Sober

I just want to run up to her, give her an asthma puffer and say “there there, it’s okay, just use this, you can stop murdering our ears now”.


That’s it for another Kpopalypse roundup!  More new releases next week!

8 thoughts on “Kpopalypse roundup – new k-pop releases 13/6/2016

  1. Okay what is with the Taeyeon video? It just replays the same footage over and over. Am I missing some deep point? None of this is music I want to hear more of, although I’m always happy to see Coco and Sori. Guess I’m on an off week.

  2. Yeah, this week was pretty caonima in terms of releases.

    I would like EXO’s new songs more if D.O didn’t irritate me so much (he looks and sounds like a scrub from my class).

    I have this irrational hate for him ughhhh.

    Did you hear about the rumor of SIXTEEN2? Literally all of JYPE’s recent male groups were “determined” by survival shows so I hope that it doesn’t happen. If Got7 releases a new album in November, according to the supposed (and likely incorrect) schedule, then they will most likely be used as media play for SIXTEEN2.

    It’s clear that male survival shows aren’t very popular so does JYPE think that SIXTEEN2 will become super popular because of SIXTEEN?

    Twice certainly lived up to the hype, but during their second release and not in their debut, like Miss A. Got7 wasn’t very successful until 2015, so it is a possibility that the boy group won’t “hit daebak”.

    I think that survival shows are stupid.

    I love you Kpopalypse! Cao ni ma your mum!

  3. It probably just didn’t make the cut because it just came out yesterday but next week you should include the new Younha/Ha:tfelt/Cheetah song. The instrumental is great but the melodies/chant singing are a little weird. Probably the only really listenable thing I’ve heard from Cheetah even though I think she’s talented.

  4. I actually liked “Lucky one” better than “Monster”, but Monster had the more impressive video, I guess that’s why it is more popular…

  5. I used to think you were female and the list judging idol’s boobs wasn’t for fapping reasons, it was just to talk about how much padding some idols use, but it turns out you’re just a creep 😦 I’d go into more detail but I read a comment where someone called you out for objectifying women or something and you basically just said ‘yeah’ and called them a self-righteous cunt. So I don’t think you’d actually address my arguments, either.

    Anyway, your girlfriend (if she’s still around) deserves better, and your treatment of female idols contributes to a less safer world for all women (as does every misogynistic thing)

    • I immediately showed this comment to my girlfriend. She laughed and said “link me!” so I linked her this post. Then she laughed some more. Then she said “tell them to fuck off and I am perfectly happy with my misogynistic pervy arsehole”.

      I should also add that she said “well, we both objectified women quite nicely on Monday night”, which was a reference to us going to see Dita Von Teese’s “Strip Strip Hooray” burlesque show together. Which was her idea, by the way. Fucking hell, that woman has got some nice tits, but I preferred one of the other girls who did this spider-web climbing thing because she was a bit curvier so more my type physically. But anyway, that was in her reaction, just thought you should know to appreciate the full context.

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