Results of the Kpopalypse 2016 survey of important trufax!

This post contains all the results of the Kpopalypse 2016 survey of important trufax!

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The Kpopalypse survey had a total of 652 respondents, and a completion rate of 98%, the highest yet!  It seems that adding a note on the front page about how long the survey would take to fill out paid off and helped more people finish it successfully, even if I did overestimate the time (most people only took about tem minutes to do the survey).

Question 1: Hi! How are you? Answer in as much or as little detail as applicable.

I added a footnote to this question saying “Yes, I do care, which is why I always have this question, and I always make you answer it.  I’m good, by the way.” but still plenty of you wanted to know why I was asking, or asked how I was, even though I had already answered this.  You weirdos.  Most people were good, some were not so good, and a lot of people complained about exams (Kpopalypse surveys tend to come around at about that time).  Here’s some of the many questions and comments you had, and some responses from me.

Dear Kpopalypse, is there something wrong with me? For the past two weeks I have turned my radio on at 4pm only to hear the DRIVE programmme and I don’t know if there’s something incorrect with my alarm or my radio or if you are on holiday but I worry it is actually a problem with me and I am somehow losing an hour every Monday afternoon.  Good day.

Every six months the timezone in South Australia changes as Daylight Savings comes and goes.  Daylight Savings is our government’s way of helping rapists by making the sun go down sooner in winter so there are more dark alleys for them to drag people off into.  You need to listen one hour earlier, until October when it will change again and then the rapists in Adelaide switch to morning activity.

I’m so stressed from my thesis (I told you about it the last trufax survey too, sigh) that I went off to look for a fuck buddy. Got home from a rave this morning and I’m still a little high from it that instead of working on my shit I’m answering your survey. I was wondering where Kaylia Kookie and Sindsoron were, when did they quit? I prefer them over Oreo Monster any day. Suho_ftw is the only 13th gen author I actually like. Hope she stays. Also, I need a Laboum article from Fany Pack. Make her do it.

Kpopalypse readers are living the high life, it’s trufax.  I don’t have any authority over Fany Pack or any other AKF authors though, but you could try asking her yourself.

I’ve been feeling pretty down, to be honest. I’m in that transitioning-to-an-adult phase where I have to make decisions about what I wanna do with my life, and I’ve been getting non stop harrasment from my family about it too. Oh, and they bug me about my weight, too, which sucks since foods one of my few outlets, besides k-pop. Thanks for your blog for helping alleviate some of my frustrations, by the way; you’re hilarious :).

I didn’t know what I wanted to do when I was young except be in a band and rock out.  Your day job doesn’t have to be your reason for existence, just get any old job so you can have money and afford to do cool shit when you’re not at work.  Another option is go to University and do a generic degree like a Bachelor Of Arts which really should be called a Bachelor Of Delaying Life Decisions For A Few More Years.

I’m doing great at the moment, but I think I might die of a rare disease very soon, I still don’t know which one but Hallervorden-Spatz Syndrome sounds rare enough to kill me in a funny way, and as a plus: it provokes Progressive Mental Retardation; maybe that retardation will allow my brain to understand korean netizens, who knows? Anyway, how are you? And why did you read all this shit? In any case, thank you for being so awesome.

Greetings from El Salvador, the world’s murder capital.

No, I’m not going to kill you if you start talking crap about Solar.

Saludos.

Hallervorden-Spatz Syndrome still sounds better than dying of Shit Music Disease, which is probably how I’ll go out after exposure to so many low-quality k-pop comebacks.

Neutral. Though actually now that I think about it, I feel disappointed. This is because everyone in K-pop at the moment insists on releasing shitty boring ballads. EVEN LIP SERVICE DAMNIT?

Annoying, isn’t it.

Hi! We know that you care (are people still asking you about that?), but you must know that WE care so you can’t take our “Thanks and you?” out and answer it beforehand in your own question!

So, how’s your throat? And your knees? Have you fully recovered from that fall from the bike or you can feel the weather changes like an old man? (to me it happen with the appendix, probably not a good sign)

I’m fine by the way, going to the gim, still postponing stuff, but starting to do some of it.

Throat is 100% now, knees are about 90%, I still have scars on my knees and legs from getting hit by that van nearly one year later and I still can’t kneel for long periods but fortunately kneeling isn’t required in Rainaism unlike many other religions so it’s no big thing.

I’m trying to learn how to bake and am waiting for my cookie dough to chill. What’s your favorite kind of cookie?

Chocolate chip.

Hello. I’m kind of stressed lately because i started learning wordpress and it’s a bit complicated. Also, i’m going to take my driver license. Help.

Driving is easy, just give way to the right.  Unless you’re in one of those countries that doesn’t do that.  Can’t help you with WordPress though, have you seen my web design?  I clearly have no fucking idea.

Emotionally ? I have a few mental disorders from childhood abuse, and physicall I stay up all night playing video games, then stay up all day to try and get on a normal sleep schedule again. I was up for 29 hours, then slept for 6 and woke up to pee, I was hungry so I got dressed to go to mcdonalds then had a panic attack about dying from sleep deprivation ( heard it happened to a kid in an internet cafe who had been gaming for a few days straight or something)

I was panicking thinking ‘what if I die?’ and ‘never again’ (referring to the staying-up-for-24-hours-straight thing). We’ll see if I start taking care of myself better.

Kpopalypse predicts that you will take care of yourself better in 2016.

Thank YOU oppar for noticing me last time. I hope you do this time TOOOOOAHAH!!

Sorry but I didn’t notice you this time.  Better luck next survey.

Bad, real bad meaning good bruh, I haven’t fucking slept for almost a week since last fucking week and I really want to fucking shove my fist up my ass tbh. If anyone else sees this just send my way a butthurt cream bc this hemorrhoidic icthy butthole of mine is shitting rocks rn bruv

You neglected to include a postal address.

Better now that I have your survey as something to do while I’m stuck in bed recovering from ankle surgery! My cat is doing awesome though.. I just ordered him a ball of condensed catnip, so he’s pretty high and loving it. How is the Kpopalypse cat doing?

Also, I feel a bit betrayed because the start button was grey and not blue.

The Kpopalypse cat is good!

Sorry about the start button not being the colour I said it was.  I am colour blind, you know.

I was feeling pretty depressed until I saw this and was all like “Kpopalypse oppai cares about me C’:” and instantly felt better. (Not really, I’m still really depressed but I hope that you’re day is super happy to make up for it C:)

Kpopalypse cares about all his readers!

None of your business. Bitch.

Even this one!

Im really fucking tired and its 4am and i have school tomorrow (not today) and im gonna end up waking up late af and not being able to sleep until 4 again and then i wake up 2 hours later and have to suffer through classes with people i hate especially my chem partner shes honestly fucking crazy and my ex best friend failed french so we in the same class so stressful and i found my crush on insta but all he posts are cloud pics i want some nudes AHHHH

If the cloud pic poster is reading, post nudes.  Thanks.

Fine, how about you?

P.S. I’m not really fine, I’m falling apart but I have to say that I’m fine.

There is no social obligation here, you can be honest!

Not that well, honestly. Graduating from college soon and realizing that I’ve just been going to college and doing well because I’m expected to and not because I want to. It’s been hard for me to make friends here and there hasn’t been a lot that’s been giving me enjoyment out of life. Also, student debt -_- I’m wondering if I need to be back on anti-depressants; Even if it won’t address my problems, at least it will help me survive. I seem to have a problem with being honest with people, so even if I have family members who care for me and are excited for me, it kind of makes me resent them because they project their attitude onto mine even if I feel differently in almost extreme ways. I kind of feel like a miserable cunt because of this.

College degrees are still useful even if you don’t want them, they give you more options.  I had depression for years until I saw a doctor who told me to get my blood levels checked and it turned out the problem was vitamin deficiency, a few injections and my depression about 90% vanished within a week.  Trufax.  Just stay away from ballads.

I am in so much shit for school rn.

But I’m also graduating soon, so yay me 😀

Congratulate me, u cunt 😀

Congratualtions, cunt!

You’re not allowed to already answer with how you are. You’ve made me have to think of an entirely new different thing to say this time around, and I’m going to be mean deliberately just to spite you for making me start the survey off with marginally more effort expended.

Mainly I let people know how I was to avoid constant boring references to Grace’s “I’m fine thank you, and you?” lyric.  It didn’t work, about 5% of all respondents answered the question this way.

Guy who liked Kpop a lot back in 2010-13. No more a big fan but likes to check what’s going on there once in a while.
By the way, your blog is funny.

Thanks!  I try to make my writing appealing to casual k-pop likers as well as crazy fans.

I’m okay. I hate kpop fandom a lot and I question my decision to start listening to this genre when these assholes are inescapable every day.

Because music >>>>>>>>>> dickheads.

Recently realized that I have no desire/reason to live anymore. So I try to spend the days doing various things that would distract me and stifle the voice in my head; mostly end up sleeping the whole day. Also trying to find a fool proof way to end my life (I just cannot afford to be one of those people who tried to commit suicide but ended up being a vegetable or brain dead).

Don’t do it! Depression makes people do strange things but remember that although we live in a world with “Hello Bitches“, we also live in a world with “Black Swan“.

Doing well, thanks. Still enjoying the blog, although I’m sad I’ve read the whole thing twice. My determination levels are high when it comes to learning Korean, and your blog was a big help in getting me interested in the language and the country through your uniquely cynical lens. Thanks in part to that, I have a bunch of Korean friends and I’m going to be moving there in August to teach, so, yeah; thanks. Keep up the good work.

Cheers!

Good, i’m only doing this to tell you to edit your post. You end up writing long ass text that are as boring as Yoona’s song. You could be funny if you take some writing classes or sth

I don’t think I write long text at all, in fact I think I’m quite brief.  I think there’s much longer text out there than what you’d normally find in a Kpopalypse post.  Plenty of people are much wordier than Kpopalypse.  In fact I’d say that I’m a lot more concise than a lot of people out there.  There are many people who write big long walls of text that basically go nowhere (or around in circles, don’t you hate that), but I don’t feel that I’m one of them.  I think it’s important to have brevity and to get to the point.  I also think that a lot of readers don’t really have the patience to read very long passages of text.  It’s just as well that I’m considerate of their special needs to not have to read too much.  Who wants to read large blocks of text anyway, certainly not me.  I can’t imagine how some people put up with the large text passages that I see on other blogs, that’s why I try to be direct and succinct.  It’s good to know how to get straight to the heart of an issue without having to use extended text passages.  It can be very wearying and fatiguing for readers to read large walls of text with no variation, so I always to try to consider my readers first and keep text passages short.  I think it’s best for all concerned if I edit my words carefully.  I don’t think I write long text at all, in fact I think I’m quite brief.  I think there’s much longer text out there than what you’d normally find in a Kpopalypse post.  Plenty of people are much wordier than Kpopalypse.  In fact I’d say that I’m a lot more concise than a lot of people out there.  There are many people who write big long walls of text that basically go nowhere (or around in circles, don’t you hate that), but I don’t feel that I’m one of them.  I think it’s important to have brevity and to get to the point.  I also think that a lot of readers don’t really have the patience to read very long passages of text.  It’s just as well that I’m considerate of their special needs to not have to read too much.  Who wants to read large blocks of text anyway, certainly not me.  I can’t imagine how some people put up with the large text passages that I see on other blogs, that’s why I try to be direct and succinct.  It’s good to know how to get straight to the heart of an issue without having to use extended text passages.  It can be very wearying and fatiguing for readers to read large walls of text with no variation, so I always to try to consider my readers first and keep text passages short.  I think it’s best for all concerned if I edit my words carefully.  I don’t think I write long text at all, in fact I think I’m quite brief.  I think there’s much longer text out there than what you’d normally find in a Kpopalypse post.  Plenty of people are much wordier than Kpopalypse.  In fact I’d say that I’m a lot more concise than a lot of people out there.  There are many people who write big long walls of text that basically go nowhere (or around in circles, don’t you hate that), but I don’t feel that I’m one of them.  I think it’s important to have brevity and to get to the point.  I also think that a lot of readers don’t really have the patience to read very long passages of text.  It’s just as well that I’m considerate of their special needs to not have to read too much.  Who wants to read large blocks of text anyway, certainly not me.  I can’t imagine how some people put up with the large text passages that I see on other blogs, that’s why I try to be direct and succinct.  It’s good to know how to get straight to the heart of an issue without having to use extended text passages.  It can be very wearying and fatiguing for readers to read large walls of text with no variation, so I always to try to consider my readers first and keep text passages short.  I think it’s best for all concerned if I edit my words carefully.  I don’t think I write long text at all, in fact I think I’m quite brief.  I think there’s much longer text out there than what you’d normally find in a Kpopalypse post.  Plenty of people are much wordier than Kpopalypse.  In fact I’d say that I’m a lot more concise than a lot of people out there.  There are many people who write big long walls of text that basically go nowhere (or around in circles, don’t you hate that), but I don’t feel that I’m one of them.  I think it’s important to have brevity and to get to the point.  I also think that a lot of readers don’t really have the patience to read very long passages of text.  It’s just as well that I’m considerate of their special needs to not have to read too much.  Who wants to read large blocks of text anyway, certainly not me.  I can’t imagine how some people put up with the large text passages that I see on other blogs, that’s why I try to be direct and succinct.  It’s good to know how to get straight to the heart of an issue without having to use extended text passages.  It can be very wearying and fatiguing for readers to read large walls of text with no variation, so I always to try to consider my readers first and keep text passages short.  I think it’s best for all concerned if I edit my words carefully.  I don’t think I write long text at all, in fact I think I’m quite brief.  I think there’s much longer text out there than what you’d normally find in a Kpopalypse post.  Plenty of people are much wordier than Kpopalypse.  In fact I’d say that I’m a lot more concise than a lot of people out there.  There are many people who write big long walls of text that basically go nowhere (or around in circles, don’t you hate that, I’m sure you do), but I don’t feel that I’m one of them.  I think it’s important to have brevity and to get to the point.  I also think that a lot of readers don’t really have the patience to read very long passages of text.  It’s just as well that I’m considerate of their special needs to not have to read too much.  Who wants to read large blocks of text anyway, certainly not me.  I can’t imagine how some people put up with the large text passages that I see on other blogs, that’s why I try to be direct and succinct.  It’s good to know how to get straight to the heart of an issue without having to use extended text passages.  It can be very wearying and fatiguing for readers to read large walls of text with no variation, so I always to try to consider my readers first and keep text passages short.  I think it’s best for all concerned if I edit my words carefully.  I don’t think I write long text at all, in fact I think I’m quite brief.  I think there’s much longer text out there than what you’d normally find in a Kpopalypse post.  Plenty of people are much wordier than Kpopalypse.  In fact I’d say that I’m a lot more concise than a lot of people out there.  There are many people who write big long walls of text that basically go nowhere (or around in circles, don’t you hate that, surely you do), but I don’t feel that I’m one of them.  I think it’s important to have brevity and to get to the point.  I also think that a lot of readers don’t really have the patience to read very long passages of text.  It’s just as well that I’m considerate of their special needs to not have to read too much.  Who wants to read large blocks of text anyway, certainly not me.  I can’t imagine how some people put up with the large text passages that I see on other blogs, that’s why I try to be direct and succinct.  It’s good to know how to get straight to the heart of an issue without having to use extended text passages.  It can be very wearying and fatiguing for readers to read large walls of text with no variation, so I always to try to consider my readers first and keep text passages short.  I think it’s best for all concerned if I edit my words carefully.  I don’t think I write long text at all, in fact I think I’m quite brief.  I think there’s much longer text out there than what you’d normally find in a Kpopalypse post.  Plenty of people are much wordier than Kpopalypse.  Also, your grammar fucking sucks, people in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones, cuntface.  But in fact I’d say that I’m a lot more concise than a lot of people out there.  There are many people who write big long walls of text that basically go nowhere (or around in circles, don’t you hate that, I bet you do), but I don’t feel that I’m one of them.  I think it’s important to have brevity and to get to the point.  I also think that a lot of readers don’t really have the patience to read very long passages of text.  It’s just as well that I’m considerate of their special needs to not have to read too much.  Who wants to read large blocks of text anyway, certainly not me.  I can’t imagine how some people put up with the large text passages that I see on other blogs, that’s why I try to be direct and succinct.  It’s good to know how to get straight to the heart of an issue without having to use extended text passages.  It can be very wearying and fatiguing for readers to read large walls of text with no variation, so I always to try to consider my readers first and keep text passages short.  I think it’s best for all concerned if I edit my words carefully.  I don’t think I write long text at all, in fact I think I’m quite brief.  I think there’s much longer text out there than what you’d normally find in a Kpopalypse post.  Plenty of people are much wordier than Kpopalypse.  In fact I’d say that I’m a lot more concise than a lot of people out there.  There are many people who write big long walls of text that basically go nowhere (or around in circles, don’t you hate that, yes you do), but I don’t feel that I’m one of them.  I think it’s important to have brevity and to get to the point.  I also think that a lot of readers don’t really have the patience to read very long passages of text.  It’s just as well that I’m considerate of their special needs to not have to read too much.  Who wants to read large blocks of text anyway, certainly not me.  I can’t imagine how some people put up with the large text passages that I see on other blogs, that’s why I try to be direct and succinct.  It’s good to know how to get straight to the heart of an issue without having to use extended text passages.  It can be very wearying and fatiguing for readers to read large walls of text with no variation, so I always to try to consider my readers first and keep text passages short.  I think it’s best for all concerned if I edit my words carefully.  Don’t you?

Question 2: How do you feel now that the Kpopalypse bi-yearly survey is here?

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Everybody was happy or at least accepting about the Kpopalypse survey, otherwise I’m sure you wouldn’t have taken the trouble to fill it out.  That’s why I didn’t add any overtly negative options.  Kpopalypse is all about thinking positive thoughts!

Question 3: What are you viewing this survey on?

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I was surprised to see that most people use laptops, I expected either desktops or mobile phones to be more popular.  Kpopalypse learns things, once again!  Also worth noting that more people would touch my mum than a touchpad, so here’s a video of Boram.

Question 4: This is a picture of Eunjung from T-ara.

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What’s in Eunjung’s air travel bag?

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Anti-netizen spray was the most popular guess – but only just!  Personally, I think it’s Oh My Girl’s visas, I think I can see one of them poking out of the top.  Only Eunjung knows the truth!

Question 5: Song quality seems to be low in 2016. What’s the main cause?

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Only 15% of respondents felt that k-pop had no quality problems in 2016 so far.  The rest of you mainly singled out slow soft ballads as the cause of an underwhelming start to the year.  Vocal wank scored surprisingly low, which means that I clearly need to write more posts about how vocal showing-off is destroying music to educate/irritate you all.

Question 6: Kpopalypse never uses fanfiction ideas that are suggested by his readers, because this ruins the element of surprise.  Feel free to suggest a fanficion idea in the space below, this guarantees that Kpopalypse will never write about it.  This way, you can “lock off” ideas that you are hoping he doesn’t use.  You can skip this question if you’re cool about Kpopalypse writing about anything.  (DISCLAIMER: any guarantees in Kpopalypse surveys may be applied selectively if you answer in a really broad kind of way just to be a cunt about things.)

43% of respondents chose to answer this optional free-text question.  Out of those who did answer, about 50% didn’t actually read the question properly, and wrote about what they wanted me to write about, instead of what they didn’t want me to write about.  Oops!  No actual answers will be shared here, I’ll save them for “later use”.

Question 7: What position do you prefer in League Of Legends?  If you don’t play League of Legends, or don’t know what it is, feel free to interpret this question as “what sexual position do you prefer”.

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The result is actually contrary to most League Of Legends lane popularity polls I’ve seen which tend to go Mid > Top > Jungle > Bottom > Support so I guess there were enough submissive types who don’t actually play the game to skew the results away from what gamers would pick.  Some people expressed annoyance about a League Of Legends question being here, or even that I played the game at all, so you can be sure that I’ll continue to talk about the game in future posts.  For those who might want to know, I play Oceania servers under the name BKitten, I main support and I’m really bad!  Add me on there if you want, and enjoy the fun that is Bronze V (League’s lowest rank).

Question 8: What should the next Kpopalypse cat video be?

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My cat’s thoughts on Produce 101 were the most popular choice, so without further ado here is the requested video!  (My cat really wanted you to pick the mouse though.)

Question 9: Observe the following tweet:

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Your reaction to this news?

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The top two choices were exactly tied, taking out exactly 34% of the vote each!  However most people knew that Sistar won’t have any money-note spam because they can’t do money-notes.

Question 10: Which is the best song?

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Many of you knew what was really going on – “which one of these things with the same name do you like more” is an incredibly boring fucking question to get on my ask.fm so I decided that I’d give you all who were asking me that type of shit a taste of your own medicine.

Question 11: Which is the best song?

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Judas Priest had a pretty strong showing of votes for a k-pop website, I thought.  However the main point of this question was just to make my position on these kinds of questions clear.

Question 12: Why is it difficult for Kpopalypse to find people who will do Kpopalypse Interview?

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The most popular answer is likely to be the truest, but I was surprised at how many people didn’t think that k-pop stars were drugged up to their eyeballs.

Question 13: The following question could be hazardous to your health. Kpopalypse accepts no liability for any personal misfortune encountered by survey participants arising from answering the following question.

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You brave, brave people.  This question was number 13 for a reason.  For those still alive and reading after completing question 13 and 14, feel free to post your daring survival stories below in the comments.

Question 14: On the left is a picture of a dark grey rectangle and two cream rectangles with a small bas-relief dividing line between them.  On the right is a picture of Yoona from Girls’ Generation (SNSD).

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Which picture offers more mental engagement and stimulation?

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Most people didn’t give a crap, their minds no doubt lulled into hazy toxic submission by the terrifying lack of stimulation in the combination of provided images.  But for those who possessed cranial synapses that were still firing with regularity, Yoona proved to be on average approximately 55% more interesting than a collection of rectangles.

Question 15: Maths question – train A leaves the station moving at 85km/h but stopping every 5 minutes for 30 seconds.  37 minutes later train B leaves the same station moving at 95.5km/h and stopping every 30 minutes for 2 minutes.  Assuming a linear acceleration/deceleration time of 10 seconds for both trains when transitioning from a complete stop to full speed and vice versa, when will After School have a comeback?

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Oh, you’re all so cynical.  Let’s all take some time out to remember that After School did actually release a music video in 2015.

Question 16: Do you buy products that k-pop idols endorse?

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Some did, some didn’t, but regardless of the result you all have potty mouths.  You all need to take a shower with Bobby.

Question 17: Blah blah blah something something Produce 101?

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Of course some people things stuff Produce 101 but something can’t be right because things blah blah company stuff reality TV this way how you can make proves the thing.

Question 18: This is a picture of Eunjung from T-ara.

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Describe here what Eunjung is looking at on her phone in 25 words or less. You can skip this question if you’re a loser with no imagination.

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80% of participants chose to answer this optional free-text question.  Quite a few of you said that she was reading my blog, which is probably correct as she’s wearing a hat in solidarity with Kpopalypse.

Question 19: Which song is CL’s actual American debut?

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Most of you felt (as YG do) that CL’s American debut is still on the way at the time of writing.  Less than 1% of people (only two!) picked “Take The World On“.  I guess the world won.

Question 20: Is credibility important to you when reading Kpopalypse blog? Pick the response that best matches how you feel.

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Just checking how much lies and bullshit I can get away with in future posts.  It seems like potentially quite a lot!  It’s fortunate for all of you that Kpopalypse blog contains strict adherence to trufax at all times, except the parts that are obvious fabrications.

Question 21: How do you feel about the Kpopalypse roundup series?

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Most people liked the Roundup series which is great.  A lot of people also took the time to mention Roundup in some of the other free text answers and how it was helpful to get a weekly overview of k-pop songs so you guys didn’t have to put in so much effort tracking all the new stuff from week to week.  Those who didn’t know what it is I assume are probably Anti Kpop-Fangirl or Asian Junkie readers who don’t go to Kpopalypse blog, as the roundup posts aren’t featured anywhere else except here (as they’re very much related to the Kpopalypse radio show).

Question 22: This is a picture of Japanese Adult Video star Julia, drinking a Red Bull in a motor vehicle to prevent drowsiness behind the wheel.

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Why does Julia need to drink Red Bull to stay awake on the road?

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The new Red Velvet song was considered by the most people to be the cause of Julia’s drowsiness.  Most people also realised that Julia being a professional career woman with a busy lifestyle wouldn’t waste her valuable time following something as basic and stupid as Korean netizen comments.

Question 23: Help, I need to buy headphones, recommend me some headphones

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People are always asking me about this shit.  Not sure why, headphones aren’t all that great folks.

Question 24: What type of phone do you have?

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Some people complained about these questions with only one answer to them, but with a question like this there is only one sensible answer possible so there’s no point giving you any other options.

Question 25: Here is the 19+ video for Hyomin’s “Sketch”.

Does this video meet required underboob/sideboob standards?

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I only scored an “oppression of women and minorities” ratio of 20%, clearly I need to increase my determination levels in this important area.

Question 26: What sexual position do you prefer? If you don’t have sex, or you don’t have a preference, feel free to interpret this question as “what position do you prefer in League Of Legends”.

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This is exactly the same question as question 7 but just asked the other way around.  Mid lane was more appealing as a sexual position than a gaming playstyle.  What has any of this to do with k-pop?  Nothing really, but it probably annoyed some people to have to answer it, so it was “worth”.

Question 27: What really happened in “Suzy’s Cuts“?

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Like my jokes, my fanfictions are a lot less fun for both myself and others when I have to explain them.  However out of the options presented most readers felt that “Suzy’s Cuts” was actually about cheese.  This is as valid a conclusion in my view as any other.

Question 28: Rate the following websites in terms of your enjoyment of their content.

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Obviously I’m going to rate the highest on a poll on my own site, that’s to be expected of any site – I was more interested in what readers who like my own site might have thought of other sites.  The results were pretty much what I thought they would be.

Question 29: What is the most enjoyable aspect of Kpopalypse posts for you?

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Insight and humour are the big winners.  A lot of people also mentioned in other answers that they’d like more technical and business posts – don’t worry, they are coming!

Question 30: Thanks for doing another Kpopalypse survey!

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If you have any feedback about Kpopalypse posts or anything you’d like to tell Kpopalypse, you can do so here. Thanks for your participation!

Here’s a random selection of some comments and queries that people left for this last optional free-text question, and my responses.

tips on how to harvest more fangirl’s tears. pls. this is the only enjoyment i get out of life.

Think logical thoughts > post on the Internet > repeat

Post more shit about your cat. Actually, you should have a survey about your cat.

You’ll note cat content in this survey.  In fact I even unlocked the “Kpopalypse’s cat being a cat” video before reaching the required crowdfund threshold.

Why do you like LOL of Legends you fangay? Play sc2.

After school will have a cumback when uee fucks off and lizzy stops being anorexic. Send her some mass gainer protein powder and a hitachi magic wand. Also tell her to add me back on snapchat.

Actually I do own Starcraft 2 but I got bored of it halfway through the single-player campaign.  League of Legends is also a little bit easier, I can’t micromanage well enough at Starcraft 2 for multiplayer to be worth bothering with.

Lizzy please add this anon back on Snapchat thx babe.

I remember first seeing your posts around 2013. It’s been 3 years and I still follow you because your content never fails to entertain me. So really thank you a lot for providing me and a lot of other people with Kpopalypse content. ♡

Cheers!

I just want to point it out that being someone who is entering the entertainment industry in my country, it is great to have you pointing out some insight about the field without a heavy sugarcoat on the whole shit. Is specifically nice to have you talking about the production side of music and stuff as well, because most folks I have been talking to didn’t say anything worth my time. Keep up the good work and I’ll definitely keep coming back.

Thanks!  For the many people asking for more posts like these, they are coming.  It’s very time-consuming to post stuff like this though and I’m pretty busy these days but I know people like this sort of content and I’ll continue to cater to it.

[a very, very long and insightful comment about blogging and related matters that the respondent asked me not to repost here, but you probably know who you are]

I’m not in a position to know how correct your speculations are but your comments and detailed observations on various k-pop sites have been noted with interest!

Will there be any streams this year?

I’m not sure.  I get thousands of readers per post but the livestream chunks out a lot of my free time and has never attracted more than about 30 people even at its peak, even on occasions when I relentlessly promote it.  Seems like a waste of time for what it’s worth?  Maybe if there’s a special occasion for one I might consider it but it’s not a priority right now.

I really think you can empathize with exploited idols, since you live in Adelaide and that’s worse

Goddamn right.  Now you know why I care so much.

The antikpopfangirl authors need to try pegging to comment on it. The anal virginity is blatantly clear and they are clearly tryhards.

Don’t ruin my dream, man.  HYSF is offically k-pop’s pegging master until he posts a tell-all confessional stating otherwise (at which point I’ll react like a batshit crazy Kai fan – “that’s not a dildo, it’s a seal!”)

This survey was fun!!! I like Kpopalypse posts they are my favourites. I also love how he makes fun of vocal wanking. Once I mentioned the term to a friend and she said it was the most hilarious she has ever heard, so thanks Kpopalypse for making me cool.

Your friend probably needs to get out a little more, but glad you got some value out of my posts anyway!

Thank you for providing a unique viewpoint. The press on k-pop music in general is very lame and seems to be so full of its own bullshit it can’t provide any real news. Who cares about a post on pann with 1000 upvotes. As if that represents a valid point at all is beyond me. I guess its newsworthy though. The critiques you provide have validity and humor. This is outside the realm of anything koreaboo, soompi,…ect can provide.

K-pop news sites are largely a copy-translate-paste service for labels and their own agendas.  Soompi has been getting better lately with some original articles that aren’t too bad, but nobody is going to go where Kpopalypse goes besides Kpopalypse!

I want to fuck you in the ass, no homo. Also, I like your articles, or whatever you call these things you post, and I’m looking forward to more. Also#2 I enjoy your disdain for vocal fags and I’d like to see more of that since so many people think they’re vocal experts these days so fuck them.

Regards,

Some hobo jerking off in your backyard

I’m pretty sure I’m flattered by this.  Happy jerking times.

I’m a NEET who became this way because of a lifetime of physical, emotional, mental, and even sexual abuse by my “father”. Quotations because that fuckface doesn’t deserve to be given the title of a father. I still live with him to this day and I can’t get out. He has narcissistic personality disorder and I frequently dream about brutally torturing and/or killing him. Those thoughts fill me with pleasure but also take me one step closer to actually doing it. I don’t want to ruin my life because of this fuckhead but I want him dead. How can I kill him without legally being a murderer? I mean like what prayers can I do to increase the odds of his demise without actually being responsible for it by law? I mean if I pray that he will get into a car crash and die (and the other person lives so long as they aren’t a fuckface) and it happens, the question is what prayer should I do?

If you don’t respond I’m going to tell all of my waifus you are a shit and cry myself to sleep like I normally do. Ow the edgehog.

Don’t let your “father” set the agenda for your life, that includes any agendas about killing him or whoever etc.  If he fucks your life up, or somehow turns you into an asshole, he wins – why let him?  Forget about prayer, what you need is a plan to change your life in a positive way.  When I was a teenager I used to read Guitar Player magazine and there was an article in there that Robert Fripp (King Crimson etc) would write every week, it was unlike every other guitar article ever.  All the other articles would talk about shred etc, Fripp was more “holistic” in his approach to instruction.  He’d write “achieve the possible, and move slowly toward the impossible”.  A good way to look at life in general, especially when facing seemingly insurmountable obstacles of any kind.

You remind me so much of my fiancé, except for the fact that he can’t stand kpop. He’s seen me reading your blog so many times that he’s jealous and thinks I have a crush on you. I haven’t watched your cat’s videos in front of my cats because they might get jealous. Or they might just think your cat is hot, who knows?

I’m glad we finally got to meet up and that dinner was very nice.  You’re a really nice person and I’d like to see you again soon.  Hey guy if you’re reading over her shoulder I just made that up but I had you going for a second there didn’t I.

Hi, it’s Part Time S♡NE. I just wanted you to know that I’ve got a new number 1 bias thanks to you. I went on your Kpopalypse Roundup and you said that one of the Bloomy girls looks like a Raina/Jisook cross, so I watched the MV out of curiosity. Not only was she a perfect cross between the two, she was really cute, even more than Tiffany! Apparently her name is Jiyun. I wouldn’t even know of her existence if you hadn’t made that comment, so you have my gratitude.

You’re welcome!

Hire someone who’ll do fap posts about males in the kpop industry you misogynistic homophobic redneck cis whitie . Fucking privileged ass not adhering to my needs

Your wish is my command, Amy has got you covered.

The only reason I gave some of the blogs just a Cool is that the people that run these blogs are horny af and I’m just here for content not to hear about your sexual fantasies and the fact that you’ll fAP FOR ANYTHING SHOW ME THEM TITS URGGGGGH *cum splatter*
you guys sound like 17 year olds (you could be, whatever, no h8)

But then again, maybe it’s just me being unnecessarily annoyed because I AM a straight girl who is not thinking about sex 24/7
yknow what you do you be yourself

Also, my personal favorites are the Best of the Worsts and the Sunday Shitposts. k thnx baaaaaaaaaaai

(wait you do write those right sorry i don’t pay attention whoops I’ve only been keeping up with akf whoooooooops)

The survey is about Kpopalypse, not AKF as a whole.  I don’t write Best of the Worst or the Shitposts.

Is there another way to contact you other than leaving you comments in disqus and and wordpress???

Twitter @kpopalypse –  or ask.fm/kpopalypse if you’re too scared to not be anon.

You said it’d take me 15 minutes and it took me way less than that. Nevertheless, I had fun, oppa! Thank you so much.

Oppa, I hope for the sweet embrace of death everyday. I have no friends and never will and I have to come to terms with that. But it’s like coming to terms with cancer. I’m going to google how to cope with having cancer.

I don’t know why I find myself thinking about sex so much… Am I a thirteen year old boy? I just want to fuck everyone in the world, like Trent Reznor. How can I stop this? Is this a phase? Whatcha think?

I think you should learn music and join a rock band.  Don’t worry you’ll fit in just fine.  Learn bass, it’s easy as fuck, bass players are always in demand and you get laid down the house.

The Melbourne City Council have obtained a court order to seize 30 years worth of urine a man had been saving as part of some bizarre religious cult. The cult saved urine in glass bottles as it believed that it contained part of the human soul. James Hunt 46 of Frankston said of the seizure “It’s not the first time someone has tried to take the piss”

And people say Adelaide is bad.

Are you actually going to read all these?

Yes.

You keep mentioning new biases and then saying you’re not going to do another bias roundup because you don’t have enough new biases. What’s the deal?

It’s an ongoing process and I may get around to a bias post eventually but not soon.  It’ll be a more interesting post if I get to change up the list a little.

Thank you for writing oppar. It’s been hard to keep up with your blog lately, fucking school fucking shit, so every post I manage to read is a blessing. Just not if it’s nugu alert. Fuck that shit. Oh and I really need some tips on how to please a partner sexually because I’m an insecure tool and I feel like I need help, could you deliver such thing?

If you actually want to please your partner instead of just yourself then you’ve already won half the battle which is the “giving a shit” part.  Then just find out what they like, and do that.  Also, listening to nugus has been rumoured to help sexual prowess, try it sometime.

Not really survey feedback, but just something I was curious about. Does it ever annoy you when people ask you questions at the end of your surveys, instead of using your ask.fm? I mean, you answer each and every question there with such care and high determination levels, it must be grating when you see all these questions that you won’t answer at the end of your survey results, right?

Nah it’s cool.  I’m not so easily annoyed!

I didn’t know you had your own website, this survey has taught me something new.

Awesome.

I am proud to call you a fellow Australian due to your use of the word cunt and the fact that you dont care about what other cunts think about you using the word cunt to call cunts cunts in your surveys. Because fuck those fucking cunts

Cheers, cunt!  Those other cunts don’t understand us cunts.

DEBUT SPUNKMOP!

I’m still about $83m short.  Feel free to help, hahaha.

I’m still mad about the shitty feedback you chose for the guess your 2015 lists and while putting this piece of feedback in your survey results post won’t make up for it you’d be a cunt on the level of netizenbuzz for screening your feedback, except you’d be omitting negative comments rather than selectively choosing them so I don’t know which option you should pick not to be compared to her but fuck it idk.

We’re all hypocrites, the difference with me is that I lay my bias right out on the table.

A summary on your longer, non-fanfic posts would be great. That way I can quickly get an idea of what you’re writing about, and can go back and read the whole thing when I have more time. I’m time crunched during parts of the year and can’t really dedicate 20-30 minutes to read some of your articles until later in the year.

I try to give people an idea of this in the intros but it doesn’t always work out that way, depends on the content and the context.

Keep up the good work. You bring balance to my enjoyment of KPOP. If I wanna geek out and fangirl, I watch reaction videos but when I’m I need to be grounded back to reality, I read kpopalypse. Reading your posts makes me realize how much I do not know about music and the entertainment industry. I realized how fans (including myself) can be really selfish. We always demand music and content for our own consumption (RIGHT NOW!), never knowing how much creativity and effort and money and thought and passion and just plain hardwork are expended by people also needing to earn cash for their survival. Cao Ni Ma!

Thanks!

I have anxiety and am broke,where can I go for help? I like your blog, it helps me when I panic, cos your humour is funny.

Don’t panic.  Boram is in control.

I have a question for you: Do you know Mr. Bean? Who do you think in kpop resemble Mr. Bean? Please answer this with your usual witty and sarcastic joke..

Johnny Noh.

I really enjoy your posts and find them really insightful and interesting. As someone who was training to enter the classical world (I gave up because I wasn’t as good as my peers also the drug thing, because drugs are against my religion, I clashed with others in the field, and in the end I felt music wasn’t being appreciated or loved the way I thought it would. So I decided to be a translator instead; years of asian drama watching lead me to be quadlingual and I thought it would be a fun money making job, and that’s what I’m studying now) vocal skill means a lot to me, but I also recognize it means absolutely nothing in K-pop, which is why I enjoy reading your posts where you call out the vocal fags obssesing over vocals when people are lip syncing half the time. Despite the fact we have opposite music tastes (I love ballads because I find them vocally challenging, and all the music you call dogshit really), I appreciate your input, and hope you will continue to write for many years to come. I would comment more, but I’m too lazy to make a new wordpress account, so someday when I’m not busy or whatever, I will make one or something, not that it mattera to you anyway. This was fun, I’m gonna go eat a bagel now. Thanks.

Just putting this here because people don’t believe me when I say the classical music world is full of drugs but it really is.

you’re an old fart, but you’re a cool old fart who probably smells like jasmine.

Eww, no!  Fuck smelling like some hippie, I’m not Michael Caine’s character in Children Of Men for fuck’s sake, hahaha.

So this is fun! Although I will put in a request for pictures of Jiyeon alongside Eunjung next time. Also I would request some recommendations of metal to listen to for the kind of people who only know who King Diamond is because they borrowed that one book from a friend about Varg Vikernes and the sociology of various metal scenes. It was a good book, but not long on the music tutorials, and generally I’ve missed chances to review metal on The Singles Jukebox, and generally I suspect I’m missing a lot. Actually, I’m going to go listen to some Chthonic now while paying bills, as I’ve been curious about them for a while. Anyway — may you and your loved ones and your cat(s?) be blessed with good health.

I assume the book you mean is “Lords Of Chaos” which is definitely an interesting book, mainly because of the biases that the author himself brings to the table!

The Jiyeon with Eunjung pic to finish this post is for you.  That’s all for now, Kpopalypse will return with more posts!

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3 thoughts on “Results of the Kpopalypse 2016 survey of important trufax!

  1. I had low determination levels for the feedback portion of the survey. I am so sorry Oppar…

    At least I left a good Luhan smut/action(?) fanfic idea for Amy noonar!!!11!!11!

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