Sponsors in the k-pop business – the truth revealed!

It seems that “sponsors” are the latest big issue in k-pop and naturally everyone is horrified that people in the music business might get paid money to do extra-curricular activities.  Could it be that the music industry is actually a corrupt den of thieves, liars and prostitutes whoring themselves out for cash, and that the entire industry is inextricably linked with organised crime?

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Of course Way is no help, but it’s okay because once again, Kpopalypse is here to bring you the trufax and take you to places that other bloggers don’t dare go!  Let’s ask some more candid folks and find our the answer to this all-important question!

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Yes the industry is full of criminals, and nobody cares.  Great, now that’s over with, let’s get to the real purpose of this post, which is sponsoring Kpopalypse.  Why should G.na have all the fun?

My site has a Paypal donation button on the side, you should all be familiar with it, but I noticed that not many people were clicking on it and giving me ridiculously large sums of cash, so instead I devised this neat Wikipedia-style fundraising banner at about the same time that Wikipedia were doing their annoying yearly fundraisers (click to enlarge):

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I set up this donation banner a while ago to randomly appear instead of the usual KPOPALYPSE banner at the top of the web page, however I only received one donation because of this (cheers to you, you know who you are!).  I think that most of you just went out and got ice-creams and fapped to Raina instead, which is fair enough because that’s probably what I would have done. I have to hand it to my readers for being discerning individuals, however this still left me with a dilemma – I was not incredibly stinking rich.  What to do about this situation?

I thought that maybe I could try some YouTube monetisation.  Surely a combination of cats and k-pop would be enough to make people click on video ads and for YouTube to then give me a slice of that precious advertisement revenue.  So I made an amazingly kick-ass cat video, with the best quality k-pop rapping I could find and as short a running time as possible to entice people to play it over and over again and watch adverts:

My video all ready to go, I headed over to the YouTube partner monetisation settings to enable my influx of wealth, and:

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“No YouTube ad revenue for you, filthy Australian!” declared the YouTube partner page.  Clearly in the interests of global safety YouTube doesn’t want funds leaving the USA and entering the hands of people in other countries with access to dangerous wildlife.  So much for that idea.

I figure I could try out some crowdfunding.  Crowdfunding isn’t really a critical thing for k-pop labels who burn way more cash even with a cheap MV than what a crowdfund would make, but it’s a nice way for them to get the community involved.  It worked well for nugus Stellar who had high levels of success with their crowdfunding, reaching over 400% of their projected target, so I figured that maybe they could help me out too.  I went over to popular k-pop crowdfunding website Makestar to see how I could become involved in a crowdfunding project.

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Makestar are so keen to let you know that any old person can’t have their own star project, that this question/answer is actually mentioned on their FAQ twice, just to make sure you don’t miss it – I guess they get a lot of enquiries like this.  Only an official contract between a star and Makestar would suffice to create a “star project”, so I got my project administrator Ms. Cao Nima from my little-known subsidiary CaoNiMa Entertainment on the case to see if Makestar would be willing to enter contractual negotiations and crowdfund for my new upcoming girl group SPUNKMOP (쑤북크멉).

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The lovely people at Makestar got back to Ms. Cao Nima within only a few hours, which was very impressive indeed.  I highly recommend doing business with the folks at Makestar, they seem very punctual and thorough, and they even made a point to guarantee confidentiality (Way’s Girls take note), plus their English usage is flawless!

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The answer to my question about crowdfunding was potentially, yes!  There was a problem however.  As CaoNiMa Entertainment is still recruiting for SPUNKMOP at this stage, many of the details they required are unknown, so my project administrator wasn’t able to be more helpful in providing the needed details to get the crowdfunding project off the ground.  I decided that waiting for SPUNKMOP’s lineup to be ready could take a long time, certainly longer than I was prepared to wait for some cash, so I told her to politely end the email exchange for the time being.  No point leading them on, after all.

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Maybe I need an actual crowd before I can do crowdfunding anyway, it’s probably too soon in SPUNKMOP’s life-cycle to get Makestar involved… but then, do I need them anyway?  Why can’t I just do it all myself?  I’ll just have to do my own crowdfund without their help.  Let’s do it!

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I know my crowdfund is going to be a huge success!  That’s it for Kpopalypse blog for now, more posts soon!

 

5 thoughts on “Sponsors in the k-pop business – the truth revealed!

  1. I would be so gutted if I donated $83 million only for you to scrap SPUNKMOP and just fap to Raina instead. What kind of things would you be looking for in members anyway? Looks/potential to be popular for endorsements and shit?

    Btw I know I’ve had long enough delays with the YouTube playlists but my laptop’s fucked. New one’s arriving next week, so I’ll sort it then.

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