Kpopalypse girl group bias list compendium

I asked people a few days ago for questions that I could use to expand my FAQ.  Obviously I wasn’t thinking straight because I woke up today and realised “that’s right – nobody fucking reads FAQs”.  I also noticed that a large proportion of the questions I get generally are bias questions from people just asking me which girls I prefer in which k-pop girl groups.  So because I get ultra-sick of answering these questions because I get them constantly, here’s a big list of girl group members and who I like and don’t like so I can link people.  If you’ve asked me a question and I’ve sent you a link to this post, it’s because the answer to your question is here, so read on!

eunjungrate

Here’s how the list works:

Girls are listed from most preferable to least preferable from left to right, in netizen-comment style because that’s the only text information format most k-pop fans with ultra-short attention spans and barely two brain cells to rub together to produce a thought seem to be able to understand.

The > shows the approximate “distance of preference” between each member.  It’s only approximate and each group’s number of > doesn’t necessarily relate to any other group’s number of > so don’t overthink it and try to mathematically calculate it all or do comparisons because I sure as fuck didn’t think with anything else except my dick when putting this list together.  Because I know that some of you will go crazy OCD on this shit, because you’ve got nothing better to do, you mad cunts.  A group of >>>>> before any names are mentioned means that the hottest member may have met required standards, but not to the same degree as other hotter girls in other groups.

The first | is the “meets required standards line”.  Girls to the left of this line meet required standards, girls to the right of this line do not.  If all girls meet required standards this line will be on the right end.  If none do, it will be on the left end.

The second | is the “wouldn’t kick out of bed” line.  If someone falls between the first and second line, then they’re not someone I’m that interested in but I don’t consider then so horrible that as a hypothetical single and horny person I would kick them out of bed should I find that they had sneakily crawled their way in there, I would still cuddle her and get a boner.  If all girls could occupy my bed space without being ordered to get some clothes on and GTFO, this line will be on the right end.  If none could, the line be on the left end.

“Rest” just means that I couldn’t be bothered listing the rest of the group members but I consider the remaining members not listed to be placed around about at this spot.

“Further research required” means that I am not conversant enough with this group’s members at this stage to have a solid opinion.

“All” means that I’m familiar with the members but didn’t have any strong enough opinions on anybody in the group to be able to differentiate them strongly, consider them all to be somewhat where placed.

The list is about fapability only.  I don’t give a shit how well they sing, it just doesn’t matter in k-pop where the human voice is largely an electronic creation.  I also don’t care what sort of people they are according to some gossip site or whatever – apparent bad girls might have a slight fapability advantage but that’s incidental.

Ex-members will be sometimes included, sometimes not.  This is decided by a secret “ex-member relevancy index”.

Females only, I don’t bias guys.  Assume guys to be removed from consideration in co-ed groups.  Also no groups that are not from Korea or the k-pop system or I’ll be here all year making this fucking list.

This list isn’t complete, and doesn’t claim to be, so if you’re wondering why your faves aren’t in here, it’s because I didn’t put them in here.  This list is also subject to updates and changes!

sullirate


THE KPOPALYPSE GIRL GROUP BIAS COMPENDIUM

15&

Park Jimin >>>>>>>>>>>>>> || >>>>>>>> the other one

1PS

Further research required

2EYES

Further research required

2NE1

Bom >>>>> | Minzy | >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> CL > Dara

4Ladies/M.O.A

Further research required

4Minute

Sohyun >>>>> Hyuna > Jihyun >> || >>>>> rest

4Ten

| the two that look normal | the two that look like they were made out of Bom’s secondhand parts

A-Force

|| Rare example where the low quality of the song prevents fap consideration

After School

Raina > Lizzy >>> E-Young >>> Jooyeon >> | Nana | > rest >>> Kahi

A.KOR

Minju >>>>>>>>> || rest

AOA (Ace Of Angels)

Chanmi > Choa > Jimin > Seolhyun >>> rest ||

Apink

>>>>>>>>>> all ||

April

n/a

As One (duo group)

>>>> the one with the shorter hair in “For The Night” >>>> the other one >> ||

As One (larger group)

Further research required

BabyVOX

| Kan Miyoun | >>>> rest

Badkiz

| all | >>>>> that weird plasticy looking one

Bambino

Eunsol >>>>>>>>> rest ||

Berry Good

Subin >>>>>>>> | rest |

BESTie

Hyeyeon > rest >>>>> ||

Bikiny

The one with the rabbit teeth >>>>>> rest ||

Billion

Further research required

Blackpink

Further research required

BLady

Further research required

Bloomy

Rainook >>>>>>>>> | rest |

Bob Girls

Yoojung >>>>>>>> | rest |

Brave Girls

Further research required

Brown Eyed Girls

Gain >>>>>> rest ||

Chocolat

Further research required

Chocolate

Further research required

CLC

Sorn >>>>>>>> | Sorn | >>>>>>>> Sorn

Cosmic Girls (WJSN)

Further research required

Crayon Pop

Way > Choa >>>>> Ellin >>>> || >> Soyul > Gummi

C-Real

|| All

CSJH The Grace

Nobody cares about CSJH The Grace

Dal Shabet

>>>>> All >>>>> ||

Davichi

Minkyung >>>>>>>>>> | Haeri |

Delight

Jaewon >>>>>>>>>> || >>>>>>> rest

D.Holic

Further research required

DIA

Seunghee >>>>>>>>>> || rest

D-Unit

| all |

EvoL

>>>> Hayana >>>> rest ||

EXID

>>>> Hyerin >>>> | rest |

Fiestar

Yezi > rest ||

Fin.K.L

As punishment for having a stupid name this group are consigned to fap irrelevancy

F-ve Dolls/5Dolls

Seunghee > Hyewon > Hyoyoung >>>> Nayeon > Yeonkyung | Eunkyo | rest

f(x)

Sulli >>>>>>>> Victoria >> |Luna| Krystal >>>>>>> Amber

Gangkiz

Haein >>>>>>>> rest ||

Gavy NJ

Further research required

G-Friend

the fugly looking one >>>>>>>>>> Eunha >>> || rest

Girl’s Day

Minah >>> Hyeri >> Yura >>>> Sojin >> ||

Girls’ Generation

Sunny >>>> Seohyun > Hyoyeon >>> Jessica Jawshave >>>> | > Yuri > Tiffany > Taeyeon >> | >> Sooyoung >>>>> Yoona

GLAM

|| all

Global Icon (GI)

Further research required

GPBasic

|| all

Gugudan

Further research required

Heart Rabbit Girls

Further research required

Hello Venus

The one that looks a bit like Jiyeon >>>> | rest |

Jewelry

Yewon >>>>>>>> | rest |

J-Rabbit

|| the singer > the other one

KARA

Seungyeon >>> Youngji > Nicole >>>> | rest |

Kiss&Cry

|| rest >>>>>>> the beak

Laboum

Haein >>>>> | rest |

Ladies Code

| all |

Lipservice

|| >> all

Loona

Further research required

Lovelyz

Kei > Sujeong > Mijoo > rest >>>> ||

LPG/Chaness

Further research required

Luluz

The one who does the spoken bit at the start of “How About Me?” >>>>> the one who used to be in Badkiz || the other one

Mamamoo

Hwasa > Solar > Wheein > Moonbyul >>> ||

Melody Day

Further research required

Minx

Ji-u >>>>> | rest |

miss A

Min > Jia >>>>>>>>>>>>> | Fei | >>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Suzy

Miss $

>>>>>>> all ||

Nine Muses

Hyemi > Euaerin >>>> rest ||

Oh My Girl

Yooa >>>>> | rest |

Orange Caramel

see “After School”

Pascol

|| all

Piggy Dolls (both lineups)

Jieun >>>>>>>> || >>>>>>>>>>> rest

Pocket Girls

Suyeon > SeA > Soyoon >>> rest || >>> JuA

Pritz

Further research required

Purfles

Wooyoung >>>> rest ||

Rainbow

Hyunyoung > Jaekyung >>>> | rest |

Rania

Joy >>>>> Ta-e >>>>>> | rest |

Red Velvet

>>>>>> Joy > Wendy > | rest |

Queen B’z/POPCON

Further research required

Sonamoo

Further research required

Secret

Hyosung  > Jieun >>>> || rest

Seeya/The Seeya

>>>>> All > ||

Scarlet

Further research required

S.E.S

|| >>>>> All

She’z

Further research required

Sistar

Soyou >>>> | rest |

Skarf

Further research required

Spica

Jiwon >>>> rest >>> || >>>>> Boa

Stellar

Hyoeun >> Minhee >>> rest >>>>> ||

Sunny Days

Soojung >>>>>>>>>>>> | rest |

Sunny Hill

Kota >>> rest >>> ||

Switch

Further research required

Tahiti

Further research required

T-ara

Eunjung > Qri >>>> Hyomin > Jiyeon Cyclops Overlord > Soyeon >> >>> || rest

Tint

Further research required

Tiny-G

| all |

TREN-D

Further research required

Twice

Hazardous boredom levels generated by this group prevent an assessment at this time

Two X

Further research required

Wanna.B

Minah’s sister >>>> rest ||

Wassup

Dain >>>>>>>> rest > ||

Wonder Girls

Sohee >>>> | rest | >>>>> Sunye > Lim

Ye-A

Further research required

Year 7 Class 1

Further research required

Soloists

Hong Jin Young > Puer Kim > IU >>> Ailee > Clara > Son Dambi > Lim Kim > NS Yoon G > G.na | Lee Hyori > Seo InYoung > Kim Sori > Fatcat > Juniel | Ivy > NC.A > Gummy > Boa > Lexy > Lee Junh Hyun > Baek Ji Young > Lee Michelle > any other boring singers

Rappers

KittiB > > LiVii > Tymee >> For.B >> Minit > Shy > Kasper > Ash.B | Kisum | Jolly V > Yoonmirae > Cheetah > Celma > Jessi > Truedy


That’s it!  If you would like to help with “research” feel free to use ask.fm as anything is subject to change at any time!   Kpopalypse will return with more posts soon!

yoonrate

15 thoughts on “Kpopalypse girl group bias list compendium

  1. There are only a couple I don’t necessarily agree with, but then it’s not my list, it’s yours. I’m sure you left Boram out because of the whole Oedipus complex thing. And I’m sure you weren’t intimidated into putting Way first! Otherwise I can’t help but be amazed (and a little disturbed) at how much your preferences match my own. “Great minds…” I guess. Or maybe it’s because we’re both middle aged.

  2. I’m impressed by your energy and the effort you put in to delivery some fun reading. Interesting to compare with what I think myself. Some surprises, 2NE1 and Crayon Pop for example.

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