Kpopalypse anniversary and metrics post for 2014, plus thank-yous and postcard fun!

It’s been two years since the birth of Kpopalypse blog!  Time to celebrate with all you lovely readers and bring you a post with statistics, search terms and cake!  Yay!

eunjungbirthday

Blogsites collect a shitload of data about the people who visit, why they visit, where they go and what they do.  This collected data is called “metrics” and it’s used a whole lot by many online content providers to refine their content, and it’s even bought and sold between companies because it contains valuable demographic marketing information (and yes those companies can do that – you gave them permission to in all those EULAs you never read).  However Kpopalypse is different, because I’m going to give you all my data for the year, right now, for free!  Read on as Kpopalypse spills his demographic secrets (tl;dr – you like tits) and answers relevant questions!

Firstly, people are always asking me about this shit, so here’s the countries that visited Kpopalypse blog most often in 2014, and roughly how often (take all numbers in this post with a grain of salt, they’re not exact).  All these countries are in my “I love you guys” list with more than 1000 clicks each:

Country Views
United States FlagUnited States 140,872
Singapore FlagSingapore 44,973
Malaysia FlagMalaysia 27,916
Canada FlagCanada 27,045
Australia FlagAustralia 26,728
Indonesia FlagIndonesia 21,678
Philippines FlagPhilippines 21,606
United Kingdom FlagUnited Kingdom 19,366
Brazil FlagBrazil 8,135
Germany FlagGermany 6,877
France FlagFrance 5,941
Thailand FlagThailand 5,414
Sweden FlagSweden 5,102
Korea, Republic of FlagSouth Korea 4,133
Mexico FlagMexico 3,960
Viet Nam FlagViet Nam 3,918
Hong Kong FlagHong Kong 3,779
New Zealand FlagNew Zealand 3,488
Netherlands FlagNetherlands 2,991
Italy FlagItaly 2,772
Spain FlagSpain 2,686
Poland FlagPoland 2,268
Romania FlagRomania 2,233
Finland FlagFinland 2,229
Japan FlagJapan 1,972
Denmark FlagDenmark 1,599
India FlagIndia 1,579
Russian Federation FlagRussia 1,489
Saudi Arabia FlagSaudi Arabia 1,367
Taiwan FlagTaiwan 1,341
Greece FlagGreece 1,310
Brunei Darussalam FlagBrunei 1,248
Argentina FlagArgentina 1,240
Portugal FlagPortugal 1,214
Norway FlagNorway 1,152
Ireland FlagIreland 1,116
Turkey FlagTurkey 1,103
Colombia FlagColombia 1,049

The countries with the lowest visits were a handful of central African countries and North Korea, all of whom didn’t visit at all, probably due to having no Internet.  Everywhere else in the world was crazy/stupid enough to click my shit at least once before they realised that it wasn’t actually a porn site after all.

Here’s the top ten individual articles visited:

Bring the girls out – a friendly and informative guide to big boobs in k-pop 72,314
Pornography and your right to fap: which K-pop idols are dedicated to the cause? 31,684
6 k-pop idols who look like busty pornstars 29,363
The ultimate K-POP ASSES – 13 weapons of ass destruction! 13,426
KPOPALYPSE’s 30 worst k-pop songs of 2013 12,323
Sexy concepts: whore-clicking, or click-whoring? Also Girls’ Generation’s breaking sex controversy revealed! 11,759
Her “talents” are huge – why “MR removed” videos are all bullshit 9,224
KPOPALYPSE’s 30 favourite k-pop songs of 2013 6,971
Chocolate Love – marketing 101 for deluded k-pop fans 5,385
The 9 biases of KPOPALYPSE 5,064

Definitely a strong theme of “fap” is emerging as the main drawcard here.  Obviously articles which were published earlier in the year have more chance of getting on this list than more recent articles (like the very popular part 2 of the boobs post) just due to having more time to accumulate traffic, so don’t take these stats (or my blogging as a whole) too seriously, because I sure don’t.

What were the most popular things for people to click on to explore once they’re on the Kpopalypse site?

Clicks
youtube.com 23,735
WordPress.com Media 14,898
antikpopfangirl.blogspot.com.au 5,708
asianjunkie.com 3,886
en.wikipedia.org 2,829
kpopstarz.com 1,586
ask.fm 1,580
soompi.com 1,499
Twitter 1,225
omonatheydidnt.livejournal.com 1,159
popdust.com 1,106

The most popular Youtube videos you guys clicked were Eat Your Kimchi’s review of f(x)’s Electric Shock because Martina’s boobs looked nice, and a review of the Bombshell bra which allows girls to go up two cup sizes.  It seems you folks all know what you want, and it’s boobs.

The other links in the list are self-explanatory, perhaps except for “WordPress.com media” which refers to pictures embedded in or linked from my blog posts, that I’m actually hosting myself.  The grand winner here was a link called jiyeoncam.jpg that apparently none of you could resist – should I be concerned about this?  Click the link, you decide… what am I saying, you’ve already clicked it, you know what it is, I’ve got the numbers to prove it.  Runner-up was this picture of JAV star Julia who you presumably clicked for a good fap or perhaps a right-click to save to your hard drive and then a good fap.

The most common source of traffic to Kpopalypse blog in 2014, just as with every other website on the Internet ever, was Google.  But what did you guys type into Google to find it?

korean pornstar 798
kpopalypse 780
kpop porn 609
korean pornstars 256
hyuna breast 189
kpop boobs 170
girls generation porn 152
snsd sunny breast 135
snsd breast 128
korean porn star 128
hitomi tanaka 106
k pop porn 100
ns yoon g breast 98
kpop fap 97
korean idol porn 95
korean porn stars 88
hyuna boobs 84
kpop ass 82
sunny boobs 80

Yes that’s right, searches for “korean pornstar” outweighed searches for the site itself, especially once you also include the alternative spellings in the tally.  Interest in Korean pornstars is seemingly at a high, Korea take note!  Maybe it’s time for the Korean government to stop trying to create a Hallyu wave and start up a tidal wave of online jizz to wash ashore on other countries’ Internet providers instead.

Now I’m going to answer some of the important queries that people typed into Google search during the year, that wound them up at my blogsite:

orange caramel breast size

My professional boobs pervert opinion: Raina – B, Lizzy – B, Nana – A

qri ass gif

You’re welcome.

kpop strawberry milk bigger breast

It seemed people noticed that the Crayon Pop’s boobs “got prettier”.

I think it’s just lots of padding.  You can fit anything under clothes like that.  Knowing how those girls roll I reckon they’ve probably got switchblades stashed in there.

did kris from exo have laser removal on a tattoo

I couldn’t give a shit personally but here’s one theory, make of it what you will.  Prepare tinfoil headwear.

kpop idol groups that are the worst live

I’m tipping now-forgotten nugus Chocolate as the worst one I’ve seen in a while.

what are the differences between kpop and the beatles

People actually listen to k-pop.

show the pictures of a matured girl whose bigboobs popped out of her dress

no u

ways to curb drug abuse in the music industry

which kpop stars are virgins

And only them.  And even that’s a maybe.

busty m*** strips and demands i wank

Are people really that offended by certain words these days that they actually censor their own Google searches?  How the fuck are you ever going to find what you’re looking for that way?  No wonder you stumbled across my site instead of whatever porn you were looking for, guess it sucks to be you, dumbass.

kpop idols having sex with fan

I’ve heard that it happens.

jerking off

Finally, someone who has come to the right place!

jiyeonfapy

I’d also like to say thank you to the sites that I write for, Anti Kpop-Fangirl and Asian Junkie, who have both been great and continue to be great about hosting my writing.  Also thanks to all those who follow the Twitter and ask.fm, support the radio show, anyone who ever posted my articles anywhere, or even anybody who just reads my articles and has found them useful in some way.

Finally, thanks for visiting and supporting Kpopalypse during 2014!  My writing has become popular far beyond what I ever expected, and also far more hated than I ever expected – both of which I think are great outcomes!  Also, if you like Kpopalypse, why not send a postcard?  You can send postcards to here:

Kpopalypse, 3D Radio, PO BOX 937 Stepney SA 5069 Australia

Send anything you want but be aware that I don’t open the mail and all correspondence gets checked so don’t send anything that you wouldn’t feel comfortable about a receptionist in an office reading.  If I get enough quality postcards, I’ll do a blog where I scan and show you them all!  By sending a postcard you consent to this process so please don’t send anything you don’t want the world seeing!  Kpopalypse will be back in 2015 with more posts… plus there will be a few more posts to wrap up 2014!  Continue to enjoy k-pop, k-pop blogging and new year festivities!  Don’t forget to eat cake!

eunjungbirthday2

7 thoughts on “Kpopalypse anniversary and metrics post for 2014, plus thank-yous and postcard fun!

  1. Singapore, really? that surprised me. Do they even get kpop shows?

    Quest for Shindong was sheer genius. I salute you, Kpopalypse Oppar, for your amazing writing skills and subtle, yet explicit warnings never to mess with idols.

  2. Surprised to see so many NZ visitors when I can’t find any kpop fans or even kpop merch at all. Literally all I’ve seen is a goddamn EXO hat. The quest shall continue.

    I think I searched “snsd are sunny’s boobs real” to get to your blog, or something to that effect. I still don’t quite know what I meant by that…

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