Let’s be honest – there’s no such thing as someone who is anti-pornography. We all love porn, and those who are the most vocal about hating it are always the ones who secretly love it the most. Not only is porn fun and interesting, but observing how a society treats both its pornography industry and people who watch porn is a good litmus test of how much a supposedly free society truly values its freedoms once you remove the hype. The right to fap over media representations of other people doing kinky shit is something worth fighting for. Just look at the majorly sexually frustrated expression on this guy’s face – he understands the necessity of something that people in developed countries take for granted in this easy-access Internet age, and he probably hasn’t fapped over a nice pair of boobies in a while.
I’m glad that’s settled, then. Now that both of you who are anti-porn have stopped reading, let’s look at some of the k-pop groups who have discussed their porn use to determine who are the most dedicated to the noble art of fap, so we can give them our full appreciation and support.
For a while now, a horrible cancer has been infecting the world of k-pop – the obsession with “talent”. I put “talent” in inverted commas because when people talk about “talent” in k-pop in either a positive or negative sense, they usually only ever talk about one thing, which is singing ability. They tend to ignore other talents that actually matter a lot more for career advancement and industry success in the world of ultra-commercial idol pop, such as:
- Looking good on stage
- Dancing (sometimes also factored in when people discuss “talent” – but rarely)
- Looking good on TV
- Looking good in front of still cameras (i.e modelling)
- Talking to the media (if you don’t think this one matters, just ask anyone in KARA)
- Looking good in a versatile way for different outfits to use in different concepts
- Emotional labour (what air hostesses do – keeping the happy facade up, smiling constantly when you’ve had a shit day etc, ask f(x) about this one)
- Looking good even in airports
- Fellatio technique (just ask [insert your bias here])
- Looking good even in a car accident (or else)
- Behind-the-scenes talent that supports your talent (songwriters, producers, stylists, choreographers)
- Looking good at all times
We all know about the Piggy Dolls comeback, yeah? If not, you can read up about it here.
Quick recap for those who haven’t been following this: three girls were in a group called Piggy Dolls that debuted a couple of years back and they were kinda chubby, then they came back and became somewhat less chubby… and then they came back again recently but this time it was actually three completely different girls using the same name who were typical-kpop-skinny, thus defeating the purpose of the original Piggy Dolls concept. Great, now we’re all up to speed.
A few people have asked me over the last few weeks if I had any thoughts about the SM/Woollim merger. If you’re one of those three people, this post is for you. If not, I’ll try and make it entertaining enough that you don’t fall asleep while reading it, although if you feel the need to slice open the veins on your forearm and pour caffeine directly into the gaping wound just to keep your eyes open during this shit, I won’t blame you. I certainly melted down and mainlined a bunch of Cadburys just to write this.
True confessions time: I’ve never been to a k-pop concert before… and it’s not for a lack of trying. I had tickets to Super Show 67.3 and that was cancelled at the last minute because the guy who changes the filter in the coffee machine at head office stubbed a toenail or something. Then I had tickets to K-pop Heart (a big arena event featuring After School, Block B, Ailee, Son Dambi, Teen Top among others) and that was cancelled because the organisers were like “contracts are overrated” and then Block B pissed their label off by demanding three meals a day and pocket money for butter to put on their bread so there went half the lineup. Both times I flew over especially for that shit and just spent the whole time shopping instead.
So when I heard about 4Minute coming, I was ready to give up on live k-pop in disgust if it didn’t happen.
Fortunately, it did happen, so now I finally have a live concert to blog about. Whether I give up on live k-pop in disgust anyway remains to be seen.