Do EXO have the ability to fix up their own batshit crazy fandom? Of course they do.

“Our school system trains kids to be ignorant, with style – functional ignoramuses.  They do not equip students to deal with things like logic; they don’t give them the criteria by which to judge between good and bad in any product or situation.  They are groomed and launched to function as mindless buying machines for the products and concepts of a multinational military-industrial complex that needs a World Of Dumbells to survive.” – Frank Zappa, from “The Real Frank Zappa Book“.

I looked at a lot of fancams of EXO appearances while researching this blog, and almost all of the footage had one thing in common besides mobs of young girls with self-esteem lower than Boram’s bicycle seat chasing around a bunch of guys who are probably all banging the chicks in Nine Muses – replaced audio.

The reason is fairly obvious: even some shithouse k-ballad (sorry IU but the MOGEF should really quit with the T&A censorship and instead do something good for pop music culture by banning any song under 80 BPM) sounds a hell of a lot better than this:

Welcome to hell.

It’s fairly well documented that EXO fans are on average the most insane of any k-pop fandom.  The question is clearly not how insane they are, or indeed if they are insane – but, what is anyone going to do about it?

To EXO’s credit, they seem to be appropriately embarrassed by the situation, and seem to want to do something about it, taking their time to do a bit of one-on-one counselling of saesangs and telling them off where possible.  Of course this is the equivalent of trying to put out a forest fire with an eyedropper.  As simple employees of a massive marketing machine, It’s not their fault, right?  Naturally, they can’t reform their fans alone… right?

Eager to help, I went straight to the repository of all 21st century knowledge Google to see what I could find out about EXO in order to help them with their quest to control their own mentally challenged fans.  Because I care.


Okay, “overrated” is first, yeah no kidding.  I understand why their comeback would be searched (or at least I can put myself in the shoes of someone who would search that because I’m really that understanding and kind ahem), and there’s that Wolf song everyone hates… but “powers”, what the fuck’s that?  Are they like superheroes or some bullshit?

According to Wikipedia… yeah, like, totally.  It’s listed there like it’s no big thing.


Right next to “country”, and the countries aren’t made up, so why would the powers be?  There’s not even any debate about this on EXO forums or anywhere else, or even on the Wiki’s talk page where people love to argue and split hairs over the most minute factual details, it’s actual fucking referenced information (sure, the reference goes to an old Allkpop article that doesn’t even exist anymore but let’s just gloss over that for now).  Everyone just accepts it: these guys have some fucking “powers”.  Like woah, dude.


Now call me crazy, but I believe being a superhero comes with just a little bit of extra social responsibility to use your powers for the betterment of society.  If you’re Superman and the convenience store down the street gets robbed three times in a month, it could be reasonably argued that maybe you’re just not doing your fucking job and spending too much time poncing around at home being Clark Kent with your head in Lois Lane’s crotch while your cape is at the dry-cleaners.  EXO have got a dude who fucking teleports, another one who can fly, some dude who can stop time, and there’s even some guy who has “healing powers” – wouldn’t that cover the healing of mental illness as well?  So how can they realistically complain about their fandom like it’s someone else’s problem?  These kids have the power to fix it themselves.*  If nothing else, at the very least they could get the guy with the “fire” powers to apply some scorched earth policy next time they have to visit an airport or something.


But no, these selfish EXO kids just want to rest on their laurels.  Tsk tsk.  For now I guess those who care about the mental health of kids out there will just have to resort to some physical intervention.

Peace and love, kids.

* And if these powers aren’t really real someone get them the fuck off the Wiki.  Wikipedia is supposed to be for factual information, not for you fangirls to rub each others’ clits in a massive circle-jerk.  Come on kids, what is this.

10 thoughts on “Do EXO have the ability to fix up their own batshit crazy fandom? Of course they do.

  1. “Insignia” would probably have been more appropriate then “Special Powers” for an official name, but it’s understandable why they chose the latter. After all, most fangirls are incapable of comprehending what the fuck and “Insignia” even is, so they chose “Special Powers” instead, as if EXO’s entire career is a Saturday morning cartoon. And to be completely honest, the only reason I even liked EXO in the first place is because of exactly that, that their concept resembled a Saturday morning cartoon. When I first saw the Mama mv I though to myself “Shit, a kpop group which actually has an genuinely interesting and cool concept. It’s like combining superheroes and kpop together, this is seriously the best thing ever. I’ll bet they’ll get a lot of fanboys with a concept like this.” I was wrong. The only audience they really attracted were dumbass, perverted fangirls who didn’t give two shits about the actual concept of the group. So now they’ve become one of the most generic groups in kpop because that’s all their fans want. Until they split up again and go back to teleporting and setting things on fire I have no interest in the group whatsoever.

      • Exactly. I personally loved absolutely everything about Mama (Excluding the hideous members of EXO themselves) the concept, the storyline, the intro, all flawless. And the actual song itself easily goes into my no.1 song of 2012. But all the fangirls cared about were the only thing I didn’t care about, the fags actually performing the song. When I saw the teaser for Wolf (Yes, I watch teasers for music videos. I have no life) I thought “Cool! So I guess their powers have mutated into some sort of lycropanthy shit or something like that and now they’re all werewolves.” No. The closest thing I got to a werewolf was some shitty, low-budget CGI animation of a wolf.
        Growl was even worse. Easily the most forgettable song of 2013. When it was released, EXO train to becoming the Korean 1Direction just got a whole lot faster.
        Everything about the group is just a massive disappointment, and its all thanks to that shitty demographic of theirs’.

  2. I feel that EXO has been trying their best, and it’s not their fault that their fans have become like this. In fact, the fans should control themselves.

    In addition, they are not the only group with crazy fans. Just look at the Big Bang fans at their show and you can see.

    Overrated or not, you can’t see they haven’t put in effort. They’ve debuted for slightly over 2 years and already have become famous. There must be some ‘X’ factor, so please don’t insult okay?

    Kamsa ><

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