Today a fellow DJ, Mr Adam Mondayitis (who does the radio show before my own, full of weird and wonderful music that is nothing like k-pop and that you should check out sometime), mentioned that he could devise a great drinking game from the Kpopalypse radio show, given that the k-pop I play tends to conform to certain rules and trends. I hastily agreed with him and told him to send me a list. He’s done so, and it’s suitably inspired – I’ve also edited and added to it significantly. Thanks to him and also Millie from the Facebook group for help with this.
KPOPALYPSE DRINKING GAME
MUSIC AND LYRICS:
Your personal ultimate k-pop bias (only one permitted, must be declared before game starts) has a solo part: 1 shot per part
Eurovision-esque key change near the end of the song: 1 shot
Completely out of place dubstep drop: 1 shot
“Oppa”: 1 shot per song
“Molla Molla”: 1 shot per song
Rap part out of nowhere and at warp fucking speed: 1 shot
Cringeworthy swag/thugged-out spoken song introduction in English: 1 shot
Cringeworthy aegyo-style spoken song introduction in English: 1 shot if by a female, 2 shots if by a male
Nonsensical Engrish chorus or refrain: 1 shot (for each new lyric heard, not for repetitions of previously heard lyrics)
Girl group cutely mispronounces something: 1 shot (for each new lyric heard, not for repetitions of previously heard lyrics)
Money note: Skull for the duration of the money note
Male group R&B ballad with less balls than your average eunuch: 1 shot
Random-sounding English swearing from a Korean hip-hop artist that suggests that whoever write the rap part had a hazy grasp of the English language at best: 1 shot per swear word
Synth that sounds like an air raid siren: 1 shot (take another shot at the end of the song if the song contained no rapping whatsoever)
Astonishing similarity to a Western pop hit from 5 years ago: 2 shots
Astonishing similarity to or blatant sample of an 80s pop hit: 2 shots
Whenever I play PSY’s “Gangnam Style”, “Gentleman” or Girls’ Generation’s “Gee”: Finish the bottle. If the bottle is less than half full, open a fresh bottle and drink that.
GENERAL BROADCAST RELATED:
Complete failure of myself to get my tongue around a band or song name: 1 shot
I forward-announce a song and it takes over ten seconds to be audible after I stop talking: 1 shot
Annoying MV sound effects noticeable in the audio stream: 1 shot per song
I try to play a song and it won’t play at all: 2 shots
A song stops before the ending for no apparent reason: 2 shots
I mention the Facebook page: 1 shot
I mention this blog: 2 shots
I give something away on air: 2 shots
I give something away on air and you win it: Finish the bottle. If the bottle is less than half full, open a fresh bottle and drink that.
The following count only if specifically mentioned on-air by me before or after playing the song:
Androgynous male in the group: 1 shot
Androgynous female in the group: 2 shots
Notably high-budget music video: 1 shot
Notably low-budget music video: 2 shots
Male group have their shirts open in the video for the song: 1 shot
Female group showing unusual amounts of cleavage/sexiness for a k-pop group: 1 shot
Song from male group containing member who just started/finished National Service: 1 shot
New song from female group who just ousted a member over some petty crap: 1 shot
Female wearing an item of clothing with polka-dots on it on the CD cover: 1 shot
Male group with token female: 1 shot
Female group with token male: 2 shots
Group played that is currently in the midst of a controversy and this is explicitly mentioned on-air as at least part of the reason for the airplay: 1 shot, or 2 if it’s a cross-group speculative love affair controversy.
Plastic surgery mentioned: 1 shot
Whenever I play a song hated by the K-pop world and say I like it: 1 shot for a female group, 2 for a male group
Whenever I play a song that I say I don’t really like that much even though it’s by a group that I usually adore: 1 shot for a male group, 2 for a female group
K-pop merchandise mentioned: 1 shot
Whenever I mention a controversy and explicitly take the side of either the Korean netizens or Korean music press spreading the controversy instead of the artist I’m about to play: Finish the bottle. If the bottle is less than half full, open a fresh bottle and drink that.
Sage advice courtesy of Adam Mondayitis: For those who actually want to play this game for real, do NOT do this with shots of straight spirits, unless you are Shane MacGowan you will probably die. Do it with sips of beer if you want to get crazy party drunk, or do it with shots of a medium strength liqueur (Cowboys, a Baileys variant, Midori, Tia Maria etc) to get completely fucked in half drunk. Trust me on this, I know as much about heavy drinking as Kpopalypse does about K-pop.
Sage advice from me: don’t play this game. Or if you absolutely must, at least don’t play this game and then ask me the next day where your shit is that you left at the party last night, or what actually happened there. Because I wasn’t there, I went home. Do you think I wanted to put up with your drunken ass singing “Sorry, Sorry” in my ear all night?
And for those of you wondering how a radio show can have its own drinking game – you don’t understand. This is Australia. Mentioning alcohol is the only way we can get people’s attention down here.
(thanks to roselily and qrination for gifs!)